模糊了的回忆

今天一时兴起，我在茶桌底下翻出了一本又一本厚厚的相簿。人家说，照片是为了留住那一刻、那一霎那的美好。这一本本的相簿，我已经好久好久没有看了……甚至脑海里仿佛忘了有着一些照片的存在……

人，不就是这样吗？当我们越来越大了，回忆也模糊了……我摇了头，拿起那一本相簿。

“呼！”大力的吹了一口气，相簿上的灰尘被我吹了起来。翻开了相簿，我看见了我小时候的照片。

我看见了和一位青梅竹马拍的照片。我们算起来，也做了18年的邻居。还记得小时候，我们还一块去补习……在路途中，我们就把车子想象成过山车……曾经，我们一起欢笑；曾经，我们一起哭泣；曾经，我们一起上学、放学；曾经，我们牵着小手走在屋前的小路上；曾经，我们有多少的快乐，多少的天真……可是，不知从何时开始，我俩渐渐不再说话了。如今见个面也很尴尬呢！也许，这就是时间作弄人吧！当我们渐渐长大了，那曾经谈过的“梦”；曾经一起赤着脚丫、追着纸飞机奔跑的日子没了……

我看见照片上在小学和我十分要好的朋友。如今我们在学院经常碰面，却从来不曾说过一句话，打过一声招呼。是不是大家都长大了，都认为彼此变了？所以变得陌生了？我看见了那些和我一起同班了5年的同学，如今我们见面就打个招呼。如此而已。

学院里，我叫了一班朋友。他们是否会和我的同学一样，以后各奔前程了是否还会记得大家？我们彼此之间的回忆，会随着时间渐渐模糊。为什么？我们背负着自己的义务，我们过着忙碌的生活。那一些回忆会随着时间，和照片一样渐渐泛黄……渐渐模糊……

是遗憾吗？明明大家都认识，却变成了陌生人……

朋友，陌生人……那个导火线……只因时间模糊了脑海里的回忆……

Penjajahan British di Pulau Pinang oleh Francis Light

My friend made this video for their assignment...
It is about how Francis Light conquered Penang Island...
Helpful for PMR and SPM Sejarah too...
For those who have problem with how Francis Light came to Penang, can take a look at this video... ^^
Hope you like it...

Memory Pathways

I remembered the very first day I laid my feet into college, KDU College Penang Campus, my heart was throbbing. It was a hard night before that morning where I still cannot get over the fear I had in National Service. I'm afraid of everything, afraid of not being able to get new friends, afraid of not being able to adapt, afraid that I would not be able to cope...

That day, I put a smile in my face... That mask I would never forget... The thoughts that ran through my mind: I need to be more friendly to get new friends. So I did. I wore the smile until the day I left college. Until then, I learnt that I did change a lot except for one thing: I'm still arrogant.

This year is really a memorable year for me. I went through so much, I learnt who is the ones that are really there for me, I learnt that sometimes I stayed strong too long, I learnt that crying does not mean that you're weak, it just signifies that you are strong all these times. I knew a lot of friends, I knew a bunch of good friends, I knew several close friends, I knew 2 besties.

As I flipped through all the photos throughout the year, the memories we created together... I looked through all my blog post... I know I had a great time in college besides sad moments. I created a lot of memories with my friends and classmates... We fought the war together, we share the victory together, we work together....

I learnt how to love someone... I learnt how to respect someone... I learnt that I'm not perfect... And I found someone who tolerated my arrogant all these time... Sometimes I find it really hurt when someone tell me things straight in the face, but come to think of it I learnt. I changed a lot... But the arrogant me, still remains... I wish to change that too but many I'm the snob in the class... Every class need a snob, right?

As I walked through the memory pathways of my college life... I somehow felt reluctant to let go... Its HIM, its HER, and its THEM... I did not want to let go... I hope there will be a day that all of us will meet again...

Someday...

A memory within our Heart

A Memory Within Our <3 Slideshow: Jzivy93’s trip from Taiping, Perak, Malaysia to 3 cities Kuala Lumpur, Pulau Penang and Pangkor was created by TripAdvisor. See another Malaysia slideshow. Create your own stunning slideshow with our free photo slideshow maker.

I saw this app on Facebook today and I felt this is really amazing...

SO I decided to give it a try and WALAH~!!!

My production... ^^
This makes me think of my past and all my old friends...

Miss you girls~

The societal morale...

[Picture taken from: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/]

Recently, many thoughts flash through my mind... It seems in vain trying to make things turn better... So I decided to choose the other way... Not doing anything.

Trust is a very important element in our lives. It bonds the relationship between every single human in this world. We need trust in a family, we need trust in a friendship, we need trust in a relationship, we need trust in a company...

However, the recent society is reflecting to us to not trust someone too much... Betrayal is happening now and then and everywhere. This moment he may be your best friend, next moment he may be the one pointing his finger at you saying that you did something wrong. This is the society.

A month ago, there is a case where a little girl in China was being banged down by a van. The girl is only 2 years old and she was crossing the road. Here is the video:

This 9 minutes video clip show us how cruel is the society these days.

The first van, its not that he did not see her... From this video, there is still enough time for him to brake his car but he chose to hit the kid...

No one gave any help... 18 of them... Until then the old lady sent her to the hospital. The sad thing is after this case is being broadcasted on the news, the old lady was being criticised by the audience that she did this just because she wants fame.... This is ridiculous.

Where is all the humanities of human? Human is thought to be the most humane and intelligent living creature on earth... But what are human doing? This is the society today... What we learnt in school, to be kind and helpful is only on books these days...

A dog protecting its friend... This is what a dog does... And humans? What are they doing?

The society today taught us how cruel is life. It is not as we think when we are young... Where everything is wonderful, where everyone can lives happily ever after. This not only happens this way, there are also other exploitation going on.

I heard a news recently... It is about an energy plant in Malaysia... the factory was known to be set up by an Australia company... It was believed that if the factory was to start its production, there will be leakage and the pollution would affect the land and people living in the area. Still, they are not planning to stop the production.

People are protesting and pressure groups from all around the world is criticising about this issue. But no action is being taken. It is believed that bribery occurs... But no one can proves this. No one... Malaysia, we are a developing country... Still under the process of development, in other words we are currently still under the range of Third World Country. Does that mean that The First World Country can exploit us this way?

Exploitation, Bribery, War, Discrimination... All of these are happening everywhere in our World today... What has happened to our society these days? It is sad that we live in a world like this today...

Boring

After a week of Business studies studying, I found myself in total bored...
Or rather say my brain is malfunctioning...

It seems fruitless even though I studied so hard...

Maybe I'm just not the study type of student...

What to do?

It is like a never end question right?

Still, as compare to working studying is still easier...

Well, its time not to let anything get on my nerves anymore and start studying...

But I'm just feeling way too BORING~~~ *yawn

Finish LAW~!!!

Finally, finish law test... This two weeks are really stressed out... While in stress, I always feel that there is someone there to back me up...

Thank you, dear friend. Thank you, mommy...

I missed him these two weeks... The feeling is growing more and more each day... I don't know am I right to have that feeling.... I don't know if I'm allowed to have the feelings... But I really misses him... Really do...

I know he doesn't know chinese... But if he understand, this is my message to him... 够爱。

#我穿梭金星木星水星火星土星追寻

追寻你时间滴滴答滴答答滴声音

我穿梭金星木星水星火星土星追寻

追寻你时间滴滴答滴答答滴声音

*指头还残留 你为我擦的指甲油

没想走你好像说过 你和我会不会有以后

￥时间一直一直变 地球不停的转动 在你的时空

我从没退缩懦弱

当我靠在你耳朵 只想轻轻对你说 

我的温柔 只想让你都拥有

@我的爱只能够 让你一个人独自拥有

我得灵和魂魄 不停守候 在你心门口

我得上和眼泪化为乌有 为你而流

藏在无边无际小小宇宙 爱你的我

&你听见了吗？我为你唱的这首歌

是为了要证明 我为了你 存在的意义

Repeat ￥@

爱你的我 不能停止脉搏 为了爱你奋斗 就请你让我说出口

爱只能够让你一个人独自拥有

我得灵和魂魄不停守候 在你心门口

我得上和眼泪化为乌有 为你而流

藏在无边无际小小宇宙 爱你的我 哦 爱你的我

Repeat#

Happy Birthday to Me

Officially 18~!! I should've said it yesterday, but when I came back to hostel it was late at night and I'm totally sleepy... So I renew today...

Yesterday, I really had a great time with my friends celebrating my bday for me... Although no cake, it is still warm and I'm really happy... For the whole day, the person whom I hope would appear did not appear... The one I misses the most among the friends. I had a feeling that he won't appear as he did not have class yesterday... But still I hope he appear.

After law class finished at 3.30pm... I somehow felt a bit lonely... I miss my family... This is the first time not celebrating my birthday at home... And it is my 18th Bday~ I sat down quietly and started studying. All of a sudden, some strange feelings came into me... I can somehow sense that he is there. Just right around me... I stepped out the class and went to the library but he was nowhere to be seen... I went to 404 and no sign of him. Then the next time I want to go to 404, I was stopped anxiously by Abigail and Wendy...

I know they were up to something but I really don't have the mood. After class, I went to Ji Xuen's place where Shi Yi and Ji Xuen got ready and three of us went to Starbucks at New World Park. Wendy told me she will be going home at 5pm... And she left but when we went for dinner... She came and I got shocked although I knew she would come. THen when I sat with my back facing to the door, suddenly someone came and hug me from the back... Tightly... I was sooo surprise when I saw him... It was him... I'm not dreaming... They got me a teddy which is really adorable... AWWW~!!!

Then we went to starbucks after the dinner... Although there are some conflicts but I really enjoyed my night... With All my friends: Chia Siew, Him, Abigail, Darren, Shi Yi, Wendy, Joson, Jin Hee surrounding me... I really had a great time... Especially him... I always hope that he would appear... I always hope that I would be able to past my birthday with him...

18 year old bday wish? A-Lvl 3A*~!!! And I hope my friends, family and me myself will stay healthy and safely and happily... ^^

My last hour as a 17 years Old

[Image taken from:http://www.idaocao.com/]

In 1 hour time, I'll be ending 17 years old... Is it a good news or a bad news? Birthday, is a day where we are born... It signifies the hardship of our dearest mother... Somehow on this day, I think I shouldn't be happy for myself but for my mother...

There is only a 50% chances of living on when a woman give birth to a child... ALthough the medicine technology is so much advance now, it does not mean it is an absolute that every woman who got pregnant may give birth to a healthy baby or give birth without any complications. 10 months of pregnancy, it is so hard and tough for a woman...

17 years, I have been living happily for 17 years. Today, I suddenly thought of my mom. Maybe its because this is the first year I'm not having my birthday at home... Somehow, when I thought of the hardship she went through... I just felt so lucky and fortunate and grateful to be on this world... To live here happily with my mom around me...

In one hour time, I'll be officially 18. This means that I'm a half adult... From now on, many things is up to me, myself to decide and work on... 18 years old means I'm no longer a minor... If I were to do anything wrong and got arrested, I can no longer ask for an adult beside me... 18 years old means I need to learn how to settle everything myself... 18 years old...

How I wish I never grow up... How I wish I'm still a kid that cuddles in my mom's arms... But the fact is, I'm growing up each year and this can no longer be changed. For the next year, I hope that me, my family and friends lives healthily and happily... I hope I get a good result, get a scholarship so that my parents would not have to worry where to sought the money for me to further my studies...

Happy Birthday to myself...

生日快乐 我对自己说...

Friendship is nothing much more than this

[Picture taken from:http://nuo.im/]

Sometimes I wonder, what is the true meaning of friendship? Everyone says, friend is someone whom can company you through up and down... Happy and sad... It feels hurt when you found out that your friend keep you away when they know you are better than them.

Today, something strucked me suddenly. I get to know that there is a Mechanic class going on and everyone is attending and no one, not a single one tell me about this. Not a sms, not a phonecall... Nothing. I get to know from another person's mouth and seriously at that moment, it made me felt really hurt.

Especially Jin Hee, I found out recently that I really don't know her. I don't know what she's thinking and I don't know what is she up to. Sometimes after class, she told me:"I'm going back to hostel to take a nap, not feeling well." and the next moment I saw her with a whole bunch of friends eating happily and merrily at the canteen. What can I do? All I can do is ignore. When she approached me, I just smile and say its alright. What can I do?

She told me that she is the worst in class, but turn out I'm the worst. It just really make me pissed off. I felt as if you want anything just say, I can help I'll help. There is no need to act innocent and dramatic just to get the attention. I didn't mind her being dramatic but sometimes its just not the right time.

Maybe it is my problem, I shouldn't have expected too much. Coming to college, having a new bunch of friends make me lost my mind... I totally forgotten how to survive. Everything is about POLITICS. I totally forgot, we need to be strong and independent to survive.

From today onwards, I'm not falling anymore. Friendship is nothing much more than that. Betraying, trying to get attention, trying to be popular. I will not trust anyone but myself, no more. I don't want to get myself hurt anymore, not anymore...

When you believe

This song came into my mind when I was feeling down every time. Each moment when I was down and I was about to broke, I tell myself to believe what I should believe. In our lives, there are so much to achieve, so much to go through and yet so little time for us.

People says things don't come easily and there are no free things in the world. I indeed agree with that. Whatever we want or opt for, we need to work for it. Somehow, there are times we couldn't manage to go through and couldn't manage to find a way to solve the circumstances we are facing.

"There can be miracles, when you believe,

Though hope is frail, its hard to kill,

Who knows what miracles, you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will,

You'll know when you believe."

Miracles, that is what we always hope for. When we are in nowhere, when we feel lonely and when we couldn't achieve what we've targeted... this is what we always hope for. People say, we shouldn't believe in miracles... There won't be one. Yes, we shouldn't believe in that. But if we believe, we have 50% chance of seeing that miracle happen. However, if we don't, the chances of miracles happening will be 0%.

At times, we need to believe what we can achieve. Long time ago, humans say that flying is impossible; but later people even fly to the moon. Long time ago, humans say that it needs a long time to communicate a message to another, but later people only need 2 minutes to send a SMS to others. These happen due to technological change of course, but somehow people believe that these can be done.

WHen you believe, you can do anything. Who knows what miracles you can achieve? But to me, as long as you believe... Even if you did not achieve what you aimed for, you will still achieve a miracle.

A day Alone...

Feeling the vibration of the Xperia Arc lying on the "Breaking Dawn" beside my pillow, I opened my eyes. The damp and freezing atmosphere around the room send a chill down my spine. At a sudden thought, I thought that there was no one else in the room beside me... Everything around me seemed to came to a standstill.

It was not until I heard the creaking sound as I moved a bit on my bed 2 seconds later. Picked up the phone, I heard my mom's voice. It was unusual to see her name on the phone at this time of the day. Ya, I forgot. Normally this time of the day I'm either in class or at home. Today? OK, the first day of Raya break.

"Hello." I answered the phone. I can feel that my mom is worried about me as I felt quite sick two days ago. After finish the phone call... I throw my phone back to where it is(on top of my "Breaking Dawn" ) and went back to bed. The next time I open my eyes it was already 10.05am.

Took a slow breakfast, a warm water bath and I went back to college to pick up a book I left in the locker. It was drizzling, and I open my umbrella. Having know that all of my friends were busy, I'm already prepared to past the day alone.

I went back to the hostel, watch an episode or two of the new drama my room mate gave me and pack my things to go for lunch. After lunch, I stepped into my favorite coffee shop... (Yea, you're right... Starbucks) to settle down and start studying.

This day alone made me think a lot. The cloudy weather made my mood sway. It is never more comfortable having jazz music swaying by your ears, rich coffee smell on the tip of your nose and the warm but yet cool atmosphere that Starbucks has as always.

Sitting alone on the couch, I look through the glass windows... The road in Penang is still as busy as always, with cars driving through continuously... Maybe I'm the one who cannot face the reality of this world. Maybe I should just give everyone a break. It seems everyone get stress out and starting to hate me whenever I talk.

A giggle is all I can give... It is hard to be strong when you are not, it is hard to put a smile on your face when you feel sad, it is hard when you try your best to make someone happy and in the end you make him/her felt worse. Sometimes giving a smile doesn't mean that I don't care and sometimes although I'm smiling, the pain within is never seen by anyone.

As time past, we will see that no one will remember there was this girl that once came into their life. I rather live that way, maybe somewhere in me felt hurt but somewhere in me felt that maybe the way I live will make me take things easier and maybe I could've just live happier?

Maybe sometimes in this busy world, we need to slow down our pace... To take a look at everyone around you.

A day alone... Really made me think a lot. Taking the last sip of my Cappuccino, I type this last sentence... I'm no one but a passerby... as usual...

Feelings that came suddenly...

[Pic taken from: http://www.xoases.net/]

It had been a whole day rain... I like the rain, but sometimes rain significant depression and sadness... Sometimes, even Loneliness.

It is never ever lonely when you walk home alone in the drizzling rain. The drops of freezing rain fall on your warmth (37 degrees) skin. A feeling shot me suddenly, hoping to see someone... Hoping someone beside me...

I had been weak since I was a baby... It is somehow hard for me to get healthier until I went to secondary school when I grew tall and higher... In everyone's eyes, I'm always the smallest one, the one that will never grows up. Maybe that's what I want to be?

I hate myself as I grow. I hate this world which is full of darkness. Fighting to live, making use of others to get what we want, Struggling to be at the top most, getting scold and humiliated to earn a living. This is not what humans meant to be.

I saw a quote two days ago when I open "Breaking Dawn" by Stephanie Meyer.

"Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age.

The child is grown, and puts away childish things,

Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies."

-------------------- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Maybe I wanted to be in this kingdom. I'm afraid of darkness, I'm afraid of dead. It is even worse when I was force to say:"Yes, I'm afraid of loneliness. I'm afraid to be alone." There is only 0-0.02% of the world population who will be there for you when you give them a call telling them:"Help.". There is only 0-0.01% who will be there for you when you call them telling them:"I'm lonely." and there is only 0-0.00002% who will be there for you when you call them and say:"I'm in trouble."

Standing at the balcony of my hostel, looking at the rain... Raindrops falls on my palm... Feeling the coldness of the rain and the cooling breeze, I shuddered. I felt lonely, really lonely although I love the rain. Sometimes, feelings just come when you see couples kissing; grandpa and grandma holding hands; a child running around his loving parents.

SOmetimes, a sort of unspoken and indescribable feeling just come and you sort of like... felt lonely and cold... and hoping the one you wish to see is just right beside you...

There is something.

[Images taken from:www.casavaria.com]

Whenever we say there is nothing, it indicates something. The something is...There IS something happen...

After knwing my mom's health condition, I have been emotionally unstable. I just needed someone to talk to where it seems quite impossible to find one. Looking out in the rainy compound... the skies turn dark and it became heavier...

The atmosphere turn chilly and the chill actually frost through my spines. I know, I need something to rationalize myself... I know I need something to make myself awake. Without second thoughts, I went into the bathroom and turn on the shower. Without turning on the heater, I let the freezing water flow down my skin. I need to be awake...

The cold and icy water hit bit by bit onto the skin, that makes me wake a bit... At least, a bit... I know if I weren't inside the cold water, I will definitely cry out. I am not that strong as some of my friends know. I'm just a normal person. I have feelings...

Maybe I need to realise the reality that I must be like the way I should be... But right now, I know that I can't... Just can't...

Just some memories...

Just now, I went to Facebook(which most of us will go once we open our internet browsers)... I went to a friend's profile, just to check out how is she lately. And a sudden thought flew past my mind.

I have not seen her since... I don't know(counting)... April? Or May? And it just came to me that I missed her a lot. Everything started when I went to secondary school where I got no friends and everything is a new start. It then when I became a prefect and get to know a group of friends. Eight of us, we stayed up as a prefect until Form 5 and we really go through a lot...

Sometimes, thinking back of the past... I tend to start musing and imagine... I wonder if there is real friendship in this world. Despite the fact that most people treat you good just because they wanted your help, there are at times of our lives we met a real friend... I got betrayed when I was in secondary school and that made me not believing anyone but myself. But I cannot deny that sometimes, I needed a friend there for me.

There is a chinese saying, At home, we depend on our parents. Outside, we depend on our friend. But how true is this? Can we always depend on friends? After coming to college, I saw many types of people. And I felt lucky having a few of them by my side till now.

Jin Hee(the girl in the pic)... She's a Korean. This girl, she is a very special girl. She always thinks that she is not important and she always felt that everyone is abandoning her. Despite the fact that she is bad-tempered at times and scolding Korean:"%^$&@*!%#*#^..." which I could not understand, she is indeed a very nice and friendly girl... She is someone who you will left out in life... But she tried her very best to blend in with the others. This is what I like about her. She, although a bit hot tempered... Has a very unique personality.

P.S: SHe is a taekwando Black Belt... Don't mess around with her... Not good for health... XD

Abigail... This girl I mentioned her before... She is a role model, a tutor. She is the one which you won't hate and will always stay energetic when being with her. She is a very smart and intelligent girl and she is a perfectionist. Wanting to get everything right the first time... Girl, sometimes a repeat act is to let you gain experience... XD... Anyway, she is somewhat another unique kind of person. SHe just have the charisma which attract everyone to her... Adorable at times, especially when she always say "Pick-a-Boo". A very socialize girl. It is amazing how she can talk spontaneously in front of everyone...

P.S: I can only describe her as..PHAT~!!! Pretty, Hot, Attractive & Tempting... Oh, I forgot... Fabulous... also...

Lastly, Jon... This kind of people is one which we seldom meet in life also. How to say? He has a good side of him and of course a not quite good side of him. The good thing is... He is a guy, with very kind-hearted. He never remember what people did to harm him. A very innocent kind of guy which always smiles and makes your day. Seriously, I'm not kidding. You seldom see a guy as gentleman as him and you seldom see a guy who looks like a kid from the outside but very(indeed VERY...)Very(Let me just HIGHLIGHT the word again... VERY) mature inside. However, (well, human is not perfect right?) the thing is he always thinks about others too much and neglected himself...

PS: If he sees this, he'll kill me... XP

Anyway, after coming to college... I just missed my past... Missed my friends in secondary school, going through ups and downs together. Somehow, I know that one day if we meet again... I would not say much...

I would just say:" Long time no see..." and end it with a hug...

Meaningless=meaningful

At the end of the day, I just came up here to have a look at my blog... I wanted to give it a new look, but it seems just way too time consuming... Today is not really in a stable mood, I guess it is due to my monthly test results...

I work very hard on my business but ending up getting 33/64. Well, it sort of depress... Anyway.. Let's start the topic.

It is quite amazing how things work out sometimes... You'll get amazed and dumbfounded finding yourself coming out with some ideas out of nowhere... It works just the same with me at times.

Especially...

When I'm emo...

I tend to have some creativity in my when I'm not in a good mood. It just triggers some inspirations for me to start off with something I had set aside for a long time.

WHen it comes to life, it is just the same. For a teenager, or we call ourselves(which we thinks it is a better way to call ourselves) young adults, we often goes into conflicts with our emotions. When we meet problems, achievements, friendship, love, family, studies... Our mood tend to be a bit as I named it "swaying". Ya, it is in a sense true. Nowadays, many people say this:"See, emo again~!" "I'm emo~" Well... I know I shouldn't be saying this, but... What is the point?

Today, I got a full counsel from one of my friend. I was in total depress today when some moody and sadness and anger and fury and whatsoever mood arises in within me. He told me a lot... Saying that I shouldn't be saying that it's not worth it for him to be good, not worthy to be my friend, don't care much of what other things... ANd stuffs... Many stuffs.

But somehow, I felt better after talking to him. At least, I felt my meaningless life get a bit meaningful again. All this while, afraid of getting myself hurt... I locked myself in my own world. Not allowing anyone to come into my world. All this while, I've been denying what I can achieve and that made me a coward and I did not dare to move on. Thanks to him, I moved on.

He told me something that I would never forget... He says that at the end of the day, if I have any problem... Just remember that he'll be there for me...

He says that he'd always want me to achieve what I can achieve to my full capacity(business term, let's just call it 'full capability') and not A*A*A*...

He says that he wanted me to opt for my dream... To study in Cambridge University.

He says he wanted me to be just me...

SOmetimes some simple words, sentences can make a meaningless life turn into a totally meaningful one...

Meaningless( )Meaningful?

How to fill the blank? It all depends on how you look at things then...

At times, meaningless and meaningful... Is just a line, a border... It only depends on you whether you want to cross it or remain status quo...

Dedicated to those who are depress and hates their lives now... The world is still a nice place... (just for you info)

Love, does not always mean happily ever after...

Love, is a complicated game... Neither of us know that syllabus, neither of us know what is the next challenge... However, Love is pure.... It is a knowledge that we are compulsory to gain.... But some of us, just run away from it...

When we engaged ourselves in love... We need to have full preparation that it is not as wonderful as we think and it is not as in novels and fairy tales that the main characters will live happy ever after... In the process, we fall... And we need to learn how to stand up again... In the process, we got heartbreak, but we need to know that it is not all...

Love is about forgiveness between each other... Love is about the happiness that both individuals share among each other... Love is about the companion of the each other, holding each other's hand going through all the difficulties and sadness... Love is about communiction... Love is about the pain and growing up during the process... Love is about the bitter and sweet... Love is about sharing, not only the sweet and happiness but also the bitter and sadness...

However, things are not that simple when you really engage yourself in love, not yet a realationship... But LOVE... It will turned out to be a really complicated thing and you will lose control of it... somehow... Those who have been into love knows that it does not always end up in happy ending.... But ask youself, what is the real matter to you? Do you want happiness only, or do you want to share, to lighten each other's burden and to be tolerance? there are many question relating on this topic since old days...

Some people can run away for love... Some people can sacrifice for love,(e.g: romeo and Juliet... Which I think is way too over...) Some people can fight for love... Some people can be quiet for love... Some people can betray for love... Some people can do anything for love.... from this point of view, no one can deny that Love, is actually a powerful weapon...

But things never goes as you want in love... At down times, people would say... Let's just cool it off or let's just end it... But if LET GO and COOL IT OFF is that easy to say it to the other half... Well, you can just leave... Appreciate the love you had now in your life... Every people gives you different opinion and different things to learn... However, at times.... Letting go is just a way to love someone... It is sad to say that you need to let go of someone you love so much but if things just cannot go on... Or rather say, the other is feeling too hard to go on, at times we need to let go although we love him/her so much...

Love does not depend only on one side... It is a bilateral thing... If the other were to give up and you cannot do anything to help.... If the other were to give up and pleading for you to let go... Just let go... It may be hurt, it may be heartbreaking but sometimes it is a good way to make him/her happy... For me, I rather getting myself hurt rather than seeing him getting hurt...

Had in mind that LOVE is not about sacrificing, LOVE is about each other...
How each other feel, How each other trying hard to safe their love, How each other sacrificing a lot just to be together, How each other share their thoughts and feelings...
LOVE is something that cannot go on without trust... If you rather trust someone else than the one you loved, then love someone else instead...

Bare in mind that love is not all about happiness, and LOVE does not always lead to happy ending... But we can still live happily ever after if we make a change to ourselves by trusting the ones we love...

Sorry for not blending in

Sometimes it make me wonder, whether is there anything that is forever in my life... Recently, I knew that the 'FOREVER' can no longer be used for anything beside family love...

It all started this year where I went into college and started off my college life. I try to draw a barrier between me and other people so that I won't myself hurt anymore. I wanna be myself but the reality tell me that I can't.

A month ago, things started to change. There was this group of friends that no matter what, we'll be together. One month ago, everything change. As usual, the one get left out is me. I didn't think much at first because I know that the more I care, the more I'm gonna get hurt. I just let everything go on the way it was.

And two weeks ago, I became totally invisible to them. I confronted one of them, and she said that I'm thinking too much. I persuade myself that I'm indeed thinking too much.

However, things get worse. Still, I closed one side of my eyes and did not care much. I began going back to the beginning... All alone. No matter where I go, I'll be alone.
Two days ago, one of them said something that really hurts me... We were supposed to have a gathering, and we asked her. SHe told me you wanna go u can go, since you like them so much. I got really shocked. Is her pointer on me or on the others. I guess its on me.

The same thing happen today when I was in the library the whole time. And one of them that is not from Law class came to tell me that Law class is canceled. That moment, I went into total depressed and I went into rage. This is the first time in 3 months, my temper went wild.
I almost cried out, but I held it to myself. Its me who is too dumb to think that I'm still part of the group... Nothing is long lasting... As for now, just let things continue the way it is is the best way.. I think....

The next six month, I'll be alone... So getting use to it now is not a bad idea also I guess...

And if any one of them saw this, just wanna say that I'm so Sorry for not being able to blend in...

I'm fine

To those worrying about me for the past few days...

I wanna clarify that I'm fine.

Well, maybe things doesn't turn out as it seems to be,

But as I said, all I need is TIME...

No more worries guys,

Seriously I'm fine...

I may be quite emotional at times,

But thanks for all the supports and courage that you guys gave to me...

especially to those from my group: The FROZEN, and also my dear friend and bro: Yu Yang.

I will voice it out loud if I'm really not in a good mood ok?

No worries...

For the moment, I'm FINE~!

Enjoy it, you'll get it

It's been a while since I came here... It had been quite busy for the past few weeks... Exams, Studies, it really made my head blow...

A month ago, my first Business test started. After a week, another Business test. Later on the same week, we have Law Assignment. The following week? Law test. Later, Pure Maths and Mechanics. And tomorrow? Business test again.

Now, when I sit down and think of it. Time really flies~

It felt like it was just yesterday I started of with my college life, now my AS level Syllabus have finished.

WOW~! Amazing I should say.

Although it had been quite a pickup there, but still there are things which I don't really get it.

Someone told me before, If you trust yourself, you can do it.

When I started off as a college student, I told myself that I can do it and I will enjoy it.

Well, maybe that's what makes me get it... Coping up in A-Level is not easy and I'm way back. So, for the coming A2 semester, WORK HARD~~!!!

That's a promise to myself.

PS: For my dear friend, Yu Yang. Don't get too tense up in Matriculation. Trust yourself, you can do it. Enjoy it, and in the end you'll get it.

Someone is always there to light up you life

There is one girl that I wanted to write on my blog for a long time...

She is one of the girls I get to know in college...

And to say the truth, I REALLY admire and REALLY like her...

She is one of the craziest person I've ever met,

and mostly one of the most hilarious, adorable and in fact, coolest person...

When we are in a society, a community,

we will meet various kinds of people...

I said that Abigail is the one who helps,

while she is the one who will lighten up your every day...

This girl, her name is AIWEN... a.k.a Germaine(she says)

How do I describe her?

Well, I don't know...

The way she talk,

The way she walks,

The way she communicate,

The way she look at things,

The way she react to situations...

It is all of her own style~

She never cares what other people wants,

she only do things that she thinks its right...

That is her~!

You will smile when you see her...

Example of cases: 3, 2, 1...

1- Whenever someone yawn or blow or let out a sigh, she will twist her lips and say:"Yo... Smelly lo~!!!"

2-Whenever someone say her:" DOn't be so childish la..." She will reply:"Sorry lo, I know you very mature..."

3- Whenever someone drink her drinks using her straw, she will twist her lips(again) and point at the straw and say:" See ur saliva so acidic, the straw melt ady lo~!"

4- One time our Business teacher was telling her if she wants to be a police she need to work out... Since then, whenever someone asked her why don't want to eat or why want to go hiking, she will reply:"Neh, Teacher ask me to work out..."

5- When someone says that the person beside her is pretty, she will say:"SHe pretty, but I'm prettier..." And she will laugh...

To be the truth, she is really an optimistic person. Sometimes when I don't see her, I tend to miss her smile...

I'm just glad to know a person like her...

If I were to label her, I would say that she is the one...

"The One who Will Always Be There to LIGHTEN UP your Life..."

Law test OVER~!

Finally, first Law test over... After this, I can really focus on Maths and business... FUH~ After the test, I was alone in the hostel when suddenly someone sms-ed me...

Abigail... OK, she asked me wanna go out for dinner at 5pm... I was like sure, why not? Since I'm alone... Abigail is really a very nice girl... She has been really helpful with everything... She is NOT calculative at all... As you grow up, you will meet different kinds of people... Selfish, Caring, Trustable, Betrayal... And all kinds of people and scenarios... She is the one who is never ask what people gives her and what will she get in return...

Should say I'm really lucky knowing a girl like her in college life... She is a role model, a tutor and indeed one of my best friend... Sometimes when I look at her, it makes me thinks that she is the one which you won't hate...

She is always energetic, and have spirits for everything. She is that kind of person who you will want to be with... Anyway, we went out with one of her friend... And that is when Jon(a friend of mine) texted me asking if wanna join him and Roy(another friend of mine) for dinner... So we drove back to school and I didn't see Jon anywhere. At that moment it really makes me pissed off. PLEASE~ You are the one who wants to join us for dinner and you are not punctual?

Later we went for cendul and 1st Avenue where some conflicts occur... But at last it still came to an end... But everything that is perfect seems not quite so perfect with the countless intervention of Jon...

Abigail then later hanged out in my unit where I braided her hairs... Not really good at braiding hairs... Haha... Anyway, I like staying around her... Wanna say thank you for all of her efforts these 2 months...

Exam Day,,,

Today is officially my legal test... Although its just a small test, but it kinda tensed me up. Since last Thursday, I've been studying the same notes, same textbook for over and over again.... For this particular topic, I guess... I shouldn't have much problem...(I HOPE)

Something just doesn't make me feel right about this... It seems like when you got all ready, you'll feel like nothing more to study, but after you make a turn around, you find that you know nothing, That's the main problem here.

This topic is my best topic in the whole textbook. Maybe that is what made me feel even stressed up. Maybe I sh0uld just relaxed a bit and think back what had I studied. Maybe in some way a recall would be useful enough to release my stress a bit?

Who knows?

这几天

好久不见了。这几天我都没有更新部落格，都在忙考试的东西。今天难得有空，就更更吧！
这几天的生活......老师说没有什么特别的。大概是大家都忙着考试的事情，我们什么娱乐也没有。
坐在宿舍里，我望着大马路，微风轻轻的吹进来。外面的树叶，随风摇摆。对面的学校，正进行着一场非常激烈的足球赛事，而我就坐在这里更新着部落格。
明天的考试，我没有把握。但是既然我温习了，我也不知道还有什么可以做的了。可能可以再复习一遍吧！那就是极限。我从来没有想过自己的大学生活会怎样......
这几天，我和一位朋友的要员传开来了。咳......我可以做什么？我就这样静静的给他们讲。不是我不抗拒这些事情，而是我知道它会随着时间慢慢淡化的。
这几天，我们半年的课程也接近尾声了。大部分的课都在进行考试了。
这几天，我没有到外面放松，等吧！可能后天可以到外头去吃晚餐，放轻松一下。
这几天，我想了很多事情，但是没有一个是得到一个结论的......
这几天，我让自己不去想念一个人，但发现我是失败的...
既来之，则安之。顺其自然的生果，或许是最好不过的。

好朋友

刚刚听了这一首歌曲，似乎想通了什么。这首歌的歌词和MV写出了我的心情。有时候，我们会情不自禁的喜欢上自己的好朋友。我也是这样。我喜欢上自己的好朋友，但是他不喜欢我。MV里，罗志祥喜欢自己的好朋友。而他的好朋友因为喜欢他，从婚礼跑出来了。


躺在床上，罗志祥说：“17岁，我希望你幸福；27岁，我只能祝你幸福。”


这句话，让我为之一振。我何况不是呢？18岁，我希望我的好朋友幸福。到了28岁，可能我就会去参加她的婚礼。到时候，我只能祝他幸福了。我不要勇敢了，我只要静静的守护他。在他需要的时候，在他的身边陪伴着他。我不要勇敢了，我只要暂留在他的身边，像个小孩一样依赖着他。


这是我的心声，今天的主打歌——《好朋友》。有时候两个人，不一定要成为情侣。当一辈子的朋友好像也是不错的选择，不是吗？虽然你会伤心、你会难过，但是至少这样你可以一辈子伴着他。



罗志祥——好朋友


像两首节拍不同的歌
却又同时被爱情合奏
旋律勉强着


愉快不能够假装快乐
你心中有宽阔的天空
空气还稀薄


曾经等待因为会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉 你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞


如果爱情是五线谱
我只希望用全音符
吟唱出爱上你
那完整的幸福


当你的心没有耳朵
即使我为你唱着歌
你也只看见我哭了


你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉 你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞


曾经因为等待会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我


你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉 你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心
HO 还会不会寂寞


你说我是你最好的朋友
却不应该再拥抱着
你退缩 你冷漠
于是我放开双手
不在乎我的心
会永远的寂寞

交杂的心情

今天才知道，原来他一直都有看我的部落格。他告诉我的时候，我不知道应该说自己是感动、高兴还是难过。
对他，我知道不可能超越现有的感情。我们只是兄妹——一辈子的兄妹。
他问我他是不是伤了我很多。我否认。
我向往自由，向往无忧无虑没有选择地过活。所以我给自己一个诺言：我一定要戒掉他。
我曾经不止一次和他说过：当他找到另一半，我就会离开。。。到很远很远的地方去。
那或许是疗伤期，或许是给自己一点空间思考。
曾经有人说过：我不恐惧爱情，我恐惧的是爱太深了，以后带来的心碎。
没错，又或许是这样。伤口是需要时间愈合的。
我妈妈时常在我耳边叨念他有多好，我只是给与微笑回应。
我不敢去想以后的事情，因为我们永远都不知道自己可以活多久。
我不敢去奢望美好，但是我不会去想一些不美好的事情。
也许就是这样，我一直生活着的原则。
我和他之间没有别的，只有兄妹的感情。他所谓的秘密，也会继续永存。
或许时间久了秘密会自然消失也不一定。
谁知道呢？
但这一刻交杂的心情，只有我自己体会得到。

如果我变成回忆

昨天晚上，我问了他一个问题：如果有一天，我消失了。也许是一天、也许是两天，也许是以后都不再回他的信息，不再接听他的电话，他会怎么想。
他要我不要吓他，他不希望我不理他。
可是他不知道间接的，他伤了我很深、很深。
又或许应该说，是我自己的错。知道是不可能的就应该尽早将自己从这个坑里爬出来。
但是，我却选择了沦陷。
我想知道，如果有天我变成了回忆。。。
他还会记得我吗？
他还会想起曾经有那么一个人在他的生命里出现过.....


Tank-如果我变成回忆



词曲：TANK(吕建中)
演唱：TANK(吕建中)
累了 照惯例努力清醒着
也照惯例想你了
好怕一放心睡了 心跳在梦中
不听话的就停止了
听着 呼吸像浪潮摆动着
越美丽越让我忐忑
我还能珍惜什么
如果我连自己的脉搏 都难掌握


如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心
如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发
蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以让他陪你 我不怪你


快乐 什么时候会结束呢
哪一刻是最后一刻
想把你紧紧抱着
可知你是我生命中的 最舍不得


如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心
如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发
蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以 让他陪你
如果我变成回忆 最怕我太不争气
顽固的赖在空气 霸占你心里每一寸空隙
原来依然爱我的你痛苦承受失去
这样不公平 请你尽力 把我忘记

An Always Memorable Day

One thing about being in college as compare to Form 6, you don't have to wear school uniforms...

Besides, you don't get to have a fun life in Form 6...

Although life as an A-lvl college student is kinda stress out, and the subjects are like making you freak out... Examinations from beginning of year till end of the year... You don't get to rest or relax and stuffs...

But we can always arrange some time for some funs...

Today, 2 of our classmates brought guitar to class... And everyone was like fascinated... At least nw we get to do something crazy... Well, not TOO crazy of course...

During lunch time, the two guys was like hurrying to class, bringing out thier guitar and started their playing...

Although it didn't turn out as we thought... Bt at least everyone of us who are stressed out relaxed a little...

First song, Canon in D... They did 4 attempts bt this one is the best...

Then, is 周杰伦——晴天. No lyrics cause no one knw hw to sing... So, a onli some strumming and humming by Shi Yi...

Now, let's see..... When You Say Nothing At All... THis song is a very classic onw, bt we seems totally out of the tempo and maybe the pitch also...

Well, it did make all of us relax out tensioning nerves...

It is an always memorable day in KDU Penang as a college kid...

Guys, thanks for everything...

他，不再

今天6时45分，闹钟照常的响了......闹钟的铃声划破了那寂静的早晨，划破了我美丽的梦境。我缓缓地爬起了身子，伸了大大的懒腰。整理床铺的时候，我想起了他昨晚说的：“明天我可以给你morning call了。”

我还以为他是在开玩笑。谁知，6时50分耳边传进了篆书它的铃声：“我的爱之能够让你一个人独自拥有......”我拿起了电话，耳边传来了那把让我非常安心的声音：“喂，起床咯！”我懒洋洋的说：“起了。”我听见他轻轻地笑了声，便挂了电话。

今天，他离开了槟城到玻璃市去了。从今天起，他即将开始他另一段人生旅程。在未来的一年里我不知道我们什么时候会在见上一面。老实说，我的心里万般不舍。也许是那一把声音，让我精神了一整天。每次想起那把催促我起床的声音，我就会笑。不知道为什么，他的声音总是会让我感到很温暖、很安心......那种感觉就像是天塌下来，他也会替我扛的感觉。

从今天起，他不在了。再也没有人会发信息提醒我吃饭时间到了。再也没有人会摸摸我的头说要照顾好自己。这些只有妈妈会对我做的事情，他全做了。但是从今天起，他不再可以做了......

突然有股冲动想对他说：“哥，我想你了。”

就这样

今天我竟然很白痴的做了很白痴的事情。

我就像是一个小孩子闹脾气似的，

没有发信息给他，

没有给他问好，

没有准时地问他吃了吗。

刚刚他发了信息给我。

我就好玩地问他他不好奇我为什么没有发信息给他吗？

愿意为他不想知道，

谁知他竟然问我：“为什么？”

我总不能说，我闹脾气吧~

那样会显得我很幼稚。

与其说我闹脾气，

倒不如说我在等。

我在等他什么时候才会想起我，

什么时候才会记得我，

什么时候才会发现我没有发信息给他。

我整天就这样，

每隔15分钟就看看手机一下，

每隔半个小时，就嘟嘴一下，

每隔45分钟就为自己是不是应该发信息给他，

每隔一个小时，就拿起手机要发信息给他。

他也许不知道，在4时55分我的电话震动的那一霎那，

我心里希望看见的信息是来自他的。

当我看见是他的信息，我竟然傻笑？

连老爸都问我：“你干吗傻笑？网站有什么很好笑的东西吗？”（我在上网）

我喜欢和他这样哥哥妹妹的感觉，

偶尔可以让我依靠一下，

偶尔让我耍赖一下。

也许我们算不上是什么好朋友、知己,

但是就这样，

就这样维持着现有的感情就好。

其实我想再贪心一些，

但是我不敢想象他的后果。

所以就这样就好了......

今天

2011年5月20日......这一天，我想在这里写下来。因为这是一段我不会再拥有的时光。也许那天我忘记了，我至少可以从这里会想起和他的点点滴滴。

这一天，是我们即将在未来的一年里见面的最后一次。我和他之间虽然才认识了短短的五个月，但是在我的脑海里他的确留下了许多快乐、重要的回忆。现在坐在星巴克里，嗅进鼻子的都是想象的咖啡及糕点味。耳边传来动听的萨斯克音乐——Amazing Grace。我仿佛就这样沉醉在这接近梦幻的现实。

刚刚，我和他观赏了他在即将来临的一年里在槟城的最后一场电影。他即将到离槟城四个小时以外的一个小州——玻璃市去。我知道他不舍得这块他从小长大的地方，我知道顾家的他口头上时常埋怨父母亲唠叨、啰嗦，但是心里却有着万般不舍。毕竟他是典型的巨蟹座男生，十分念旧、十分顾家。

五个月，不知不觉我们认识了五个月了。我还记得我们第一次遇见以后，第二天我的脑海里完全忘了这个人的存在。哈哈！想起来都很好笑呢！我们真正认识彼此是在新年的那一段期间。第一次离开营地，第一次在一个月后回到家里。那时候，我还觉得和他发短信感觉怪怪、满尴尬的。大概是还不是很认识彼此，所以话题也比较少。

就这样聊了一个星期，回到营地我们就好像是认识了很久似的。我记得我们每一天晚上一定会到营地里设立的kafe去进行所谓的“非法聚会”。一大班朋友一起聊心事，唱唱歌，说教练的坏话......那时候，每一天晚上那短短的一至两个小时便是我每一天期待的。尤其是我们的组别，教练对我们非常严格。所以每天晚上的诉苦的确又给余那么一点点支持下去的力量。

我记得他最喜欢静静地坐在湖边，就这样静静地坐着。看着那宁静的湖，月光的倒影......我曾经问过他：“你好像很喜欢看湖？”他说他喜欢看水，他说水可以让他的心定下来。看着那宁静的湖面，他偶尔会轻轻地哼歌......

想起来，那时候还蛮同情他和另外一位女队长的。他们承受的压力实在太大了。我记得，那个女队长有一次真的崩溃了。看着那个潇洒、坚强的她，我们万万想不到她竟然崩溃了。我开始明白为什么他总是说他必须要有成下去的借口、力量。

我记得他说过他想要有妹妹，让他疼的妹妹。经过了三个月的兵营，他也如愿以偿，有了两个“妹妹”。我不否认他真的很疼我和另一位女生（我称她为姐姐）。上个星期四，我们出去吃晚餐。他说那时接下来一年里最后一个聚会了，因为他要到玻璃市去。当时，我的心沉了一下。虽然我早就知道了这个消息，但是从他口中说出来不知为什么会让人有不舍的感觉。

他陪我走回宿舍的路上，我们和往常一样什么都说。他说我很罗嗦，其实他不知道他有时候比我还罗嗦。那天回去的路上，他把我当小孩子一样叮嘱我。他摸了摸我的头，要我照顾自己。那一刻，我真的有很窝心、被保护的感觉。那天我们就这样，一步一步慢慢的走回了宿舍去。一路上我多么希望时间就这样停止，就这样freeze着，即使是十分钟也好。又或许，这条路再长一些。

他总是说我不笨，只是粗心罢了。其实我自己心里知道，我很笨。我总是非常不小心，撞到头啦、伤到脚啦、伤到手啦...... 世界上还有比我更糟糕的人吗？今天看完了电影我比他迟回家，所以我陪他到门口去拿车。看着他离开的那一霎那，我突然有不舍的感觉。是我太过自私吗？

在电影院里，我和他有了几分钟的亲近。老实说，我喜欢坐在他身边，

喜欢和他看电影。他也许不知道，我偶尔会瞟一瞟身边的他。

我喜欢就这样静静地看着他。他告诉我他的手指因为弹吉他很痛。

摸着他长满茧的指尖，我不知道应该欣赏他还是同情他。

欣赏他，虽然刚刚接触吉他却对吉他有这般热忱。

同情他，练吉他都练得生茧了。

我偶尔会把脸颊搁在他的肩上，静静地，就这样。

在门口，我看着他的背影，我马上转过身往前走。走了几步，我再次转过头，我真的不舍得。他在离开前我问他：“你会忘记我吗？”他摸了摸我的头，告诉他不会忘记我，还会天天烦着我。听起来很轻松，可是我那时的心情却很压抑。我甚至是害怕，他忘记我。

我记得我看了他最后一眼后，我比自己把眼神转回前头。之后，头也不回的往前走。我勉强让自己的脸上挂着笑容，却在走进广场时感觉眼眶湿湿的。还好，我克制住了没有流出泪来。

他是一位非常老实，非常好的朋友。我甚至无可否认，他是一位非常好的哥哥。他总是不想让别人为他操心，可是他就是不知道他什么都不说更让人操心。与其说我要留住今天，倒不如说我要让这五个月的一切回忆刻在心里头。我永远不会忘记他，这位好朋友、好知己、好哥哥。他教会了我很多，就像是太阳。

哥哥，就让我这个向日葵跟着你打转吧！之前都是你在支持我，现在换我给你一些支持了~！不要总是那么悲观，到了玻璃是自然就会习惯的~加油！

当我们长大

小时候，我们经常会幻想。幻想长大了要成为一名老师、医生、警察，幻想长大了会有多幸福，幻想长大了所得到的自由和不受约束的日子。我们经常会问自己：“我什么时候才会长大呢？”

小时候，我们不知道什么是悲伤、什么是忧愁。我们只知道什么是美好、什么是快乐。小孩子及时哭闹，也不过是给同学欺负了、给老师鞭了几下、给父母罚咱们面壁思过。

小时候，我们不知道这个世界的黑暗，我们只知道世界是美好的。我们一直幻想自己长大会有多快乐，但我们忽略了由或许是我们不知道在美好的北面是一个黑暗的世界。

当我们长大，我们开始认清这个世界、开始认清这个充满了尔虞我诈的世界。欺骗、暴力、作弊、欺压都是我们长大以后才学会的。我们开始认识了很多小时候不曾想过的事情，我们认识了不公平、我们认识了适者生存的道理。

当我们长大，我们才发现原来小时候无忧无虑的过活是多么幸福。当我们长大，我们才明白小时候拥有的才是最好的。。。

当我们长大了，

才学会珍惜以前所拥有以及不曾拥有的

知足

有时候，望着路上来来往往的人群。他们是多么的忙碌，就像是生命里没有休息一样。

他们这么忙碌，为了什么？金钱？事业？

这一切一切只为了三个字：满足感。

但是当他们得到了，他们又会不知足的要求更多。

有时候，看看我们自己，是不是应该告到满足〉？

有一个屋顶，可以睡上个安稳觉、

有一件衣服，可以围着身子保暖、

有一双鞋子，可以保护自己每天辛勤劳动的双腿。

我们是不是应该满足？

当我们想要更多是，我们是不是应该想想世界上有多少人

没有饭吃？

没有地方落脚？

没有衣服穿？

今天，再次听这首歌。以前听，我没有什么感觉。

今天我听，不知为什么我想了很多。。。

附上这首歌的歌词：

知足——五月天

怎麼去拥有 一道彩虹
怎麼去拥抱 一夏天的风
天上的星星 笑地上的人
总是不能懂 不能知道足够

如果我爱上 你的笑容 要怎麼收藏 要怎麼拥有
如果你快乐 不是为我 会不会放手 其实才是拥有

当一阵风吹来 风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷 而祝福 而感动
终於你身影 消失在人海尽头 才发现 笑著哭 最痛

那天你和我 那个山丘 那样的唱著 那一年的歌
那样的回忆 那麼足够 足够我天天 都品嚐著寂寞

当一阵风吹来 风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷 而祝福 而感动
终於你身影 消失在人海尽头 才发现 笑著哭 最痛

如果我爱上 你的笑容 要怎麼收藏 要怎麼拥有
如果你快乐 不是为我 会不会放手 其实才是拥有

知足的快乐 叫我忍受心痛
知足的快乐 叫我忍受心痛

有失必有得

[图片摘至：www.nipic.com]

在人生的道路上，我们难免会遇上不如意的时候。曾经，我们有期待它会发生的事情，最后，都化为乌有；曾经，我们都非常抗拒的事情，到最后，成了让我梦成长的动力。

我们永远都不知道，自己还有多少时间可以看这个世界。

我们永远都不知道，今天睡着了，明天是否还看得见天明。

这也许就是成长的道路：

在毫无预期的碰上一个又一个的波折，

在毫无语境的情况低下来个措手不及。

往往在这条旅途里，我们会遇上不同事情，遇上不同的人。打从我们出世，我们的人生电影每天都在上映着不同的情节。可是，我们永远都不知道下一个情节会是什么。或许，我们在下一个镜头，遇上了一位知己；或许，我们在下一个转角，与上一个匪徒；或许我们在下一个场景，遇上了一位伯乐；或许我们在下一幕，遇上了一场车祸；有或许，我们在下一个情节依然是平平无奇的过活。

世界上并没有人能预知下一秒会发生的事情。我们每天不断地在猜测我接下来会怎样？就这样，小心翼翼、提心吊胆的生活在这个世界上。也许你从来没有发现，在我们渐渐成长、渐渐茁壮的成了一棵大树，我们的快乐就越来越少。偶尔在雨天的下午坐在窗边，静静地听着雨水打在屋顶上的声响，看着那一行一行的雨水随着屋檐滑落到地面上，你是否会静下那一颗沉重的心？你是否会回想起小时候的快乐？你是否向往着那一段无忧无虑的童年？你是否想要回到过去，不想留在大人这个错中复杂、尔虞我诈的世界里？

当我们渐渐长大，人生观会随着改变。当我们在成长的过程里，遇上了不对的人、不对的事情，我们会开始渐渐明白这一个世界。这一些事情让我们开始对人、对事有了提防。我们不再像小时候那样，赤着脚丫在草地上奔跑跌倒了，看见扶你起来的人，就笑嘻嘻的对他说：“谢谢。你好，我是某某。你真的很好人。”然后就和他手牵着手，成了一对好朋友。

人生的道路上，难免会碰上许多抉择。也许我们从来不会去想，我选择了前者，后者带给我的不良影响将装降到最低。也许我们选择了其一，我们会在不久的以后埋怨自己，后悔当初的抉择。其实，为什么要后悔？后悔不也于事无补吗？既然做了抉择，我们就不要回头望，继续往前走。天无绝人之路，只要鼓起勇气往前走，总有一天还是会创出属于自己的一片天空。

有失必有得，我们放弃了什么，我们就会在我们的选择里得到什么。在不久的以前，我的面前呈现着许多条路。但是随着时间的流逝，一条又一条的路，在我面前消失。我所有的路消失以前，我做了一个抉择。现在，我走着那条路。今天我得知了另外一条路的成绩，我发现它也消失了。虽然很不快乐，但是想了想这未尝也不是件坏事。想一想自己当初的抉择，我为自己备了一条后路。而现在的我，正走着这条后备路。

这一次的旅程，非常的辛苦。甚至比那条消失的道路还辛苦得多。我不知道这次的旅程会为我带来什么样的挑战，什么样精彩的事情。我不知道我走上了这条后备路，开始了这一段旅程到最后会带领我到什么样的地方。我不知道未来我是否会创出一片属于自己的天空。我只是抱着一个信念：有失必有得。

我失去了另外一条简单，直通美好未来的旅程。但是我相信在这条坎坷，毫无预警的旅程里我会找回我在前者失去的一切，甚至还要多。。。。。。现在长着双手，站在明媚的阳光底下，我期待着在我前方的每一个明天会经历的美好、难过。。。。。。

一个人的旅程

图片摘至：[http://1.bp.blogspot.com/]

在这一天，

我尝试了一件我从来不曾做过的事情。。。

我自己一个人，

乘上了这一班车，

开始了一个人的旅程。

从来就不知道，

原来一个人坐在车子上

欣赏着路边的风景，

更能体会另一番风景。

一个人，

靠在车窗边，

静静的凝思。

望着街上的路人，

匆匆忙忙赶着下班，

汗流浃背的等车子的学生，

坐在车子上和我一样望着路边的路人的。

各式各样的，

穿梭在车水马龙的街上，

在30分钟以后想起了铃声。

我结束了这一次一个人的旅程。

当我拿起背包走下车子时，

我回头看了一眼，

我不会忘记这一个一个人的旅程。

迷失自己

[图片摘至：http://www.e7max.com/]

很多人，

把爱情形容为一个迷宫。

因为你不知道他的出路，

你不知道接下来会遇上瓶颈，

还是到达出口。

试问，

何止爱情是如此呢？

在人生的道路里，

友情不也这样吗？

在这黑暗的夜里，

我看着一个说着谎话的朋友，

她可以说背叛了我对他的信任。

也许是自己的错，

是我太好骗了。。。

在这个人生的迷宫里，

有时候，

我因为太过于相信别人，

而。。。

迷失了自己。。。

Reflection

[Pic taken from:http://www.cbc.ca/]

The world is in our hand...

The world,

For us,

For the young generation,

For the young Ones...

The reflection of the world,

of everyone...

Looking into the sky,

Everyone,

Every one of them,

Pointed...

Into the dark gloomy sky...

Dark clouds are rolling,

Thunders are cracking...

Every young generation paused...

Eyes widened, reddish burn...

We are not afraid...

We are ready...

We are ready to face the world...

Please...

Give us this chance....

The world will be our reflection,

the reflection to this new world...

一个人的寂寞

[图片摘至：http://www.cxdq.com]

一个人，

苏醒在沉寂的深夜里。

一个人，

坐起身来走到阳台。

静静的，

我望着那一片乌黑的夜空。

今晚，

没有星星、没有月亮。

陪伴着我，

只有那一份简单却有说不出口的寂寞。

在茫茫人群中，

要如何去找寻那一个，

就拿一个万分之一的机会。

要如何找寻，

那一份温暖、真切的心。

要如何去分辨这个世界的真真假假？

尔虞我诈让我拿一个脆弱的心灵无法坚持下去，

让那一个已经非常混乱的脑袋，

更加晕熏。。。

这一个夜，一个人坐在阳台，

闭上眼，享受着微风的清凉。。。

沉思，

一个人的寂寞。。。

错得都在我

今天，

才发现自己原来什么都不是。

我没有任何权力，

没有哭的权利，

没有为自己辩解的权利，

没有脆弱的权利，

没有为自己澄清的权利。

今天中午1点30分，我接到弟弟的来电，

他要我去在他回来，

我就答应了，就驾着车子到学校去。

到了学校才发现他原来还有活动。。。

算了，我没有任何怨言的作了下来等。

到了两点半，我知道妈要去工作，我就冲回家里去。

没有看见弟弟，妈妈开始发起脾气。

一路上都在发脾气。我坐在他的旁边，没有怨言的忍了。

原本約了的朋友在等我，妈妈让他等一会，他答应了。

到了转角，妈妈要我不用理会弟弟，我就说是小事情罢了，有必要发那么大脾气吗？

他这时发威了，要我等下不用去在他。

我真的不知道应该怎么做才能满足到他。

好了，我回去载了朋友又回到学校去在弟弟，

对弟弟说母亲不高兴他为了活动迟到取不息，荒废学业。

它直接一句射过来：“怎样，你不爽是不是？”

给他这样讲，我也就算了。

在了他回家，换了一套衣服，我以最快的速度载他去补习。

在路上，她问我有没有空帮他拿东西给朋友。

我就说不行，我有事情做。

他又给我一张臭脸看。

陪朋友到升学咨询中心一直到五点，

五点回到来才有得吃午餐、冲个凉。

六点，我知道妈妈不要回来，

我就包了饭，送到他工作的地方给他。

谁知，我招来的不过是一记“鸡婆”、“多事”的眼神。

回到家里，我把整件事情告诉爸爸，

爸爸就说：“是你错啊！”

我到底做错了什么？我到底要怎样才能满足他们？

可是，这个问题永远不需要解答，因为他的答案只有一个：

错得都在我

三分鐘就知道誰是你最愛的人? (98%的準確率)

三分鐘就知道誰是你最愛的人? (98%的準確率)

一個很準的心理測試：按下面的步驟一步一步做，不要作弊，否則你的希望會落空（用３分鐘完成）發送這個留言的人說：她的願望在十分鐘內變成現實，記住：不要有欺騙行為。這個戲的結果非常有趣，注意：按順序往下讀，不能跳躍地往下讀（只要花３分鐘，值得一試）
請首先拿一枝筆和一張紙


一、首先，在一列中寫下１到１１的號碼（即１、２、３、４、５、６、７、８、９、１０、１１）

二、在號碼１和２的旁邊，寫下你所想的任意兩個數字

三、在號碼３和７的旁邊，寫下任意兩個異性的名字。（注意：不要跳躍的向下看，不要作弊哦）

四、在號碼４、５、６的旁邊，寫下朋友或親戚的名字幕（不要有欺騙行為）

五、在號碼８、９、１０、１１的旁邊，寫下４首歌的名字。

六、最後，許一個願。

結果：

１. 你必須把這個遊戲告訴給（號碼２旁邊寫下的數字）個人。

２. 號碼３是你所愛的人。

３. 號碼７是你所喜歡的但不能與之相伴的人。

４. 號碼４是你最關心的人。

５. 號碼５是非常瞭解你的人。

６. 號碼６是你重要的人。

７. 號碼８的歌適合號碼３的人。

８. 號碼９的歌適合號碼７的人。

９. 號碼１０的歌最能代表你的想法。

１０. 序號１１的歌是你對生活的感受。

讀完這個結果之後，在一個小時之內轉載到2個論壇，如果照此做，了你的許願就會變成現實，否則，就會事與願違。

Total stress

[picture taken from:http://1.bp.blogspot.com]

Librans,

Tend to be lack of confidence in making decision...

I, as a Libiran,

Have this problem too.

After my SPM,

I thought of taking up A-level for law courses...

But some clashes strolled up,

And everyone is in a really bad mood right now.

A week ago, I decided to take up A-level in KDU

Then the decision was made and I'm thrilled of going there....

Thinking of a new environment, a new place...

Suddenly I felt kind of awkward and unpeaceful...

Then when my mom came back I did a really big mistake,

I asked her a question:"Am I really going to start study next week?"

And a thunderstorm came...

She said she thought I had already made up my mind,

I DID made up my mind... Maybe because I think TOO much...

Made my stomach kind of stirred up at the moment.

I was always in stress when making decisions...

Now too...

Struggling to make everything well,

It seems getting worse...

What I do was just to make my parents please and happy,

I accept all suggestion and try my best to make them glad and proud of me...

But it seems wrong...

They doesn't seems to be happy the way I was...

THey wanted me to make my own decision(which I hate the most)...

And Ya, in total stress...

Which way to take?

[Picture taken from:http://hotmovienow.com]

Often in life, we came to a road like this.

Standing in nowhere,

we start wondering which road to take? And where will it lead me to?

Often in life, we came into dilemma...

Which road to take?

We start to worry the circumstances and obstacle ahead of us...

We start to doubt our ability to overwrite fate...

We tend to feel unsafe and scare about our future,

Because this cannot be rewind...

Once we step out, there will be no return...

Now, I'm standing here...

In this crossroad of life,

Doing the same thing everyone had done before,

Wondering which road to take...

Everyone wants a better future,

But who can assure that?

We never know what would happen in the future...

But one thing for sure,

We would never regret if we did our best...

Which way to take?

I'm still in dilemma,

But I know...

As long as I work hard...

Everything ahead of me will be just fine...