女生的标准

哈咯～今天艾微想要来大势宣泄一番……为和我一样的女生打抱不平。
现今社会里，有两种女生。
一种就是大家心目中的女生：美丽、大方、高雅、穿裙子、蕾丝、细心、有甜甜的笑容、长头发、体贴、温柔、娇滴滴的……
而另一种女生就是像我一样的女生：普普通通、行为大剌剌、爱大笑、对衣着没有讲究、粗心大意、潇洒
你是哪一种呢？
大部分女生会说，我是第二种。可是你真的是第二种吗？我不化妆，如果没有必要一定不会画；我衣柜里的衣服只有三件裙子，其他的都是裤子；我上班的衣服就那几件；我讨厌死了手提袋，麻烦、小小个的都装不下什么东西；我讨厌死了高跟鞋，又不舒服、又不方便；我讨厌死了裙子，走路要斯斯文文的、又不能利落整理事情。

其实社会的标准就是觉得为什么你是女生，你不能像别人一样：斯文一点、文静一点。整天蹦蹦跳跳的、这里一个伤、那边一个伤是怎样。我男朋友、我朋友、我父母，没有一个觉得我这个个性是OK的。每个人都觉得你一个女生，怎么个男孩子一样。

像男孩子怎么了？为什么女孩子就要斯斯文文的？
由古至今，女生被灌输必须要相夫教子。可是各位，现在是21世纪了……难道男人就么有责任教育孩子吗？为什么男人总是要吧他们传统的思想管套在女人的身上？不，应该是说为什么不管男人女人都觉的女人应该怎样怎样怎样，不应该怎样怎样怎样？
当一个家庭有了小三的侵入，大家都只批评小三说她不检点、勾引男人。难道男人没有错吗？这些东西一个巴掌拍不响的。在指指点点的过程中，小三被人批、正是也被人批说一定是满足不了自己的老公所以老公才出去偷吃。那请要怎样才可以满足自己的老公？男人出去拈花惹草，为什么错的都是女人？

回到这个话题……
妈妈和男朋友都觉的，你不能画一点装吗？你不能小心一点、温柔一点、斯文一点吗？
为什么我要啊？这样的女生满街都是，去外面找就好了啊！
我一直以来就是自豪自己不一样。可是渐渐的发现自己好像真的糊涂了一点所以想改进一点。可是不管我怎样想改进，我就是改不了。我很累，我时常问自己为什么我的个性要这样？为什么别人不能接受我就是这样？

为什么每一个人都要我变成那一个不化妆不出门、穿着高跟鞋、穿着裙子、提着小包包优雅滴踩着脚步前进的女生？
为什么我不能就是哪一个套了个T恤、短裤、帆布鞋、有着钱包锁匙手机就出门的女生？
为什么那些女生才是女生？为什么要我变成和他们一样？
每个人口里说着：我不介意，我不是要你变成和他们一样。
其实要求的就是那一些我们永远都做不到、我们讨厌的事情。

我不是要你精心打扮，只是要你穿着得体。怎么样才是得体？我穿着衬衫，工作裤，平底鞋不得体了吗？
我不是要你天天化妆，只是偶尔画一些。什么是偶尔？上班吗？我一个星期上5天班，5天是偶尔吗？
我不是不让你洒脱，还是让你多照顾自己一些。我怎么不照顾自己了？我受伤了不都是自己擦药吗？我发烧了，不都是自己吃药、喝水自救吗？
我不是让你温柔，只是让你不要那么大剌剌的。不大剌剌不就是要我去care吗？
我不需要你和别的女生一样，做你自己就好了。那你就不要对说我不够细心、不够体贴、不能照顾自己、糊涂、忘东忘西、不自律的这些事情了嘛！

我觉得社会让我讨厌我自己，我越来越不知道自己去了哪里了。
我做自己错了吗……？

It is A Pretty Awesome Day

Thank you again for tuning in to Feelings FM. Still as always, I'm your Feelings DJ, Ivy.
OK, the song of the day would be this: Counting Stars by One Republic.
This is my UMPH song, as in... It gives me the motivation to start something, like a starter for a car.
And particularly, that one line I really like?
EVERYTHING THAT KILLS ME MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE.
And never miss, I will be like OH YEAH~!!!! AH HA~!!!

Anyway, back to today's topic.
You know I had a great day from the title alone, well judge me then... HAHAHA
INdeed, I had a pretty awesome day.
This is a day where I like people around me, I like for the fact that the world is not as materialistic or stranger as we think it is.
I like the warmth people give to me and I can't help but smile to myself thinking of everything that happen today.

It all started with the same old boring day where I get out of bed and went to the library to study.
Exam is coming up in.... 76 days... What to do? Needa buckle up and start to work my ass out...
Anyway, my day started pretty bad.
I did not had a tight sleep last night, the photostating shop I use to go can't print my stuffs due to the CD Rom error, the other shop is gonna charge me sky high. So I did not get anything right and did not get anything done.
Plus, my voice is starting to change due to the hot weather and though drinking tons of water, it doesn't help much.
45 minutes LRT ride makes me feel like jumping out of the train immediately.
Some unknown weird lady slammed herself on me and did not even apologize, not to forget a man who is standing a few meters away from me and yet I can smell his body odor... Along the way I was trying so hard to not breathe. Have you ever get into this situation where either choice makes you feel like dying?
The library was pretty quiet and cool until a bunch of Year 1 kids came in and start talking as if nobody's business. They just sat there and start chatting so loud and the librarian is not doing anything.
Damn annoying day huh?

So I finished study at 4 and went back. The weather is okay so as planned I went jogging.
I've started this running thing for like one week now... And I love it because it's the only time when "study", "cases", "judgement", "judges", "academician", "criticism" can just get outta my mind.
During every run the only thing I can think about is to keep running and break my previous record (though I did not get a good timing but it's still an achievement to break them every time... XD)
Running against the wind is so cooling, I feel the pain in my leg and lungs as I breathe but this is the time everything seems so alive.
Since I started running, I have been taking out after the run from this stall. The uncle is so cheerful and kind...
Friendly nice uncle who always asked me how is the run and telling me all his stories.
I'm not really someone who knows how to communicate but smile throughout the conversation..
At least we know someone cares...

And today, I received a surprising phone call from one of my closest course mate, Duncan.
He was like, "Hey, Ivy. Where are you? Wanna go out for dinner?"
I got a shock of my life, "Hold on, dinner? I'm at my place ady la..."
And he thought that I was still in the library and offered me a ride for dinner since the place is quite inconvenient to travel around.
At that very moment, I felt warmth crippling up my heart.
I can't explain how much that means to me...
A lone ranger finally have some friends who care... Wow...
If he ever reads this, I just wanna thank him for the offer. Thank you for all the trouble and sorry for rejecting a favor...

The last thing before I start typing this is the shop I went to.
I ordered a packet of Chinese tea after the run, just to cool down my body with dinner.
This boss was asking me if I run often and he offered me a packet of herbal tea instead of chinese tea...
I wanted my chinese tea but he insisted in getting me a packet of herbal tea, and charge me for only the price of chinese tea...
He even gave me a super full packet of drink and give me some encouragement to run more and telling me it's good to exercise often...
As I was walking back to my apartment against the cooling wind, I smile from my heart.
At least we know in such a big city, though the general rule is that people are selfish and negative...
There are people who cares and who at times offer you some warmth...
You might think that I'm stupid to get all happy for all these littlest things but isn't life suppose to be like this.
Learn and appreciate from the very littlest things and start feeling contented and happy over small stuffs... Life would really turn out to be much happier this way...

Trust me this is only half the packet... It was full!!!! LITERALLY FULL...

Anyway, come to think of it... Though my day did not start well, it was a pretty awesome day after all...
And it's time for dinner... Thanks for reading my blog and have a nice day~!

只有自己可以给于自己的正能量

哈咯！大家好，我是你们心情DJ——艾微。
看会最后一片部落格文章才发现自己好久、好久、好久没有更新了……
哈哈！前一阵子忙于考试都没有时间上网，现在考完试了所以来更更呗！

最近我爱上了一首歌曲：David Guetta ft. Sia 的 Titanium。
这一首歌可以说是我的正能量的来源……为什么？看看它的歌词吧！什么是Titanium？就是华语所谓的“钛”。
这一首歌的歌词很贴近我们现实社会的情形，就像是说一个人对于别人的闲言闲语、讽刺嘲笑都免疫了……
俗话说：“人言可畏。”、“一传十，十传百，百传千，千传万。”但是也有人说：“嘴巴是生在别人身上，你管他说什么？”

我们的身边总是会有那么一些人，从来不会给与正面的影响。相反的，他们却想要看见你堕落而不断给你负面的影响。他们会故意讽刺你、刺伤你，而我们身为受害者当然大多时候就会被刺痛、被伤害。
这一首歌就把这一些负面的对话当成是子弹，而受害者是一个非常坚强的人……即使再多的讽刺和闲言闲语，他都不会动摇……那一些子弹射在他身上就会反弹……这就像是一个宣战：来吧！你们尽管说，你们那一些要伤害我的人都发射你们的子弹吧！而我绝对不会受伤害……

其实很多时候，我们会为了那一些事情而伤心、烦恼……但是这一些心情唯独自己超越了自己才可以渐渐免疫……
我们必须找到自己的正能量，因为那一些正能量只有自己才可以给自己的……
我总是忍着不说，忍着不哭因为那一些根本没有办法解决问题。但是我的缺点就是到一定的时候，我会爆发……以前的我爆发的时候会听一些伤心的歌曲，让自己更难过地哭个痛快……但是现在，我不想哭了……哭，是个懦弱的表现……我爆发的时候，就听这一首歌……听听歌词……
这就是我。这是只有我自己可以给于自己的正能量……

最后，附上这首歌的歌词：
Titanium- David Guetta ft. Sia

You shout it loud, but I can't hear a word you say,
I'm talking loud, not saying much.
I'm criticized, but all your bullet ricochet,
You shoot me down, but I get up.

*I'm bullet proof, nothing to lose,
fire away, fire away,
Ricochet, you take your aim,
Fire away, fire away.

@You shoot me down but I won't fall,
I am titanium.
Shoot me down but I won't fall,
I am titanium.

Cut me down, but it's you who'll have further to fall
Ghost town and haunted love
Raise your voice, stick and stones may break my bones,
I'm talking loud, not saying much

Repeat *@

Stone hard, machine gun,
Fired at the ones who's run,
Stone hard, as bulletproof glass

Sometimes that one person is more than enough...

Good evening, and I'm you Feelings FM DJ... As usual, Ivy.

The song of the day would be... Here, I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables, violin cover by Jun Sung Ahn. I hope you like it... It is a beautifully played song...

Today's theme as stated above and I know not much people are interested when they see my title since it's not like the others post... FOOD~ OKOK, chill.. Wait till I find something special then I'll do some food review again... I can't be posting MCD food review right? Haha.

Anyway, some thoughts have been bugging me these few days. Guess is the weather? Or maybe the stress coming up for exams? Or maybe I'm thinking too much? Well, I really do not know which is which really... I've been feeling quite EMO for the past two weeks and I still cannot get over it. I wonder why but I think I know the reason... I'm too dependent on others...

I saw a post from my friend's blog: Moi et N'importe Quo... Although the title is in French, but trust me... The content is mostly in English. Well, basically I saw this post and I smiled... Because at least there is someone I know who are not really close with me knows me better than my good friends do. I'm not trying to compare here but yeah... He still understands it albeit not much who I really am. 

Things have been quite bad for me these few weeks. Due to stress in examination and my own thinking, I get all the mood sways out of nowhere. This moment I can be super active, next moment my feeling was like sliding down the cliff. I do not know who I really am in my surroundings now as I don't seem to fit in after... well, almost one and a half years. Loneliness is always there and I shouldn't be showing and telling it to anyone but myself. 

Sometimes, we just need someone to talk to but it's just that no one is there. I just look up and saw that my friends are all ahead of me and I'm still taking my slow step behind. People think differently and people judge others differently. I'm not really the welcomed type of person and usually, people would just hate me from the very first moment they saw me. I just portray myself as being arrogant, maybe? 

Today, I posted a status on FB: "Sometimes loneliness makes you realize who you really are and what your surrounding look like... and then makes you feel that you rather be lonely..."

That's what came across my mind at that very moment. I'm afraid of a lot of things and I'm actually a big coward. I like extreme sports because that's the only way I can get hurt and reminds me that I'm actually still alive with all the things around me and to be contented of everything. I'm scared but I cannot find another way to push away the fright I have in me... 

I do not expect anyone to understand what I'm going through for two reasons:

1. Every individuals have their own thinking and no one would understand what others are going through.

2. Me, myself do not know what and why I'm having all the emo moments and loneliness and sadness.

No one understands and no one will... Sometimes I just feel sad for no reason or maybe there is a reason and I do not know why. 

And so, this should end because everyone would get bored and think that I'm a paranoid or so. The one thing that I always tell myself is no one will pity you and no one will be there when problem arises. The most trustworthy person is you and yourself. But sometimes that one person who understands would be more than enough and I'm glad that he described it well... Yes, I am active and lively from the outside but at the inside I'm a sentimental person... 

Well, life's never easy... Tomorrow is a new day and it means a new start. Neh?

有失必有得

[图片摘至：www.nipic.com]

在人生的道路上，我们难免会遇上不如意的时候。曾经，我们有期待它会发生的事情，最后，都化为乌有；曾经，我们都非常抗拒的事情，到最后，成了让我梦成长的动力。

我们永远都不知道，自己还有多少时间可以看这个世界。

我们永远都不知道，今天睡着了，明天是否还看得见天明。

这也许就是成长的道路：

在毫无预期的碰上一个又一个的波折，

在毫无语境的情况低下来个措手不及。

往往在这条旅途里，我们会遇上不同事情，遇上不同的人。打从我们出世，我们的人生电影每天都在上映着不同的情节。可是，我们永远都不知道下一个情节会是什么。或许，我们在下一个镜头，遇上了一位知己；或许，我们在下一个转角，与上一个匪徒；或许我们在下一个场景，遇上了一位伯乐；或许我们在下一幕，遇上了一场车祸；有或许，我们在下一个情节依然是平平无奇的过活。

世界上并没有人能预知下一秒会发生的事情。我们每天不断地在猜测我接下来会怎样？就这样，小心翼翼、提心吊胆的生活在这个世界上。也许你从来没有发现，在我们渐渐成长、渐渐茁壮的成了一棵大树，我们的快乐就越来越少。偶尔在雨天的下午坐在窗边，静静地听着雨水打在屋顶上的声响，看着那一行一行的雨水随着屋檐滑落到地面上，你是否会静下那一颗沉重的心？你是否会回想起小时候的快乐？你是否向往着那一段无忧无虑的童年？你是否想要回到过去，不想留在大人这个错中复杂、尔虞我诈的世界里？

当我们渐渐长大，人生观会随着改变。当我们在成长的过程里，遇上了不对的人、不对的事情，我们会开始渐渐明白这一个世界。这一些事情让我们开始对人、对事有了提防。我们不再像小时候那样，赤着脚丫在草地上奔跑跌倒了，看见扶你起来的人，就笑嘻嘻的对他说：“谢谢。你好，我是某某。你真的很好人。”然后就和他手牵着手，成了一对好朋友。

人生的道路上，难免会碰上许多抉择。也许我们从来不会去想，我选择了前者，后者带给我的不良影响将装降到最低。也许我们选择了其一，我们会在不久的以后埋怨自己，后悔当初的抉择。其实，为什么要后悔？后悔不也于事无补吗？既然做了抉择，我们就不要回头望，继续往前走。天无绝人之路，只要鼓起勇气往前走，总有一天还是会创出属于自己的一片天空。

有失必有得，我们放弃了什么，我们就会在我们的选择里得到什么。在不久的以前，我的面前呈现着许多条路。但是随着时间的流逝，一条又一条的路，在我面前消失。我所有的路消失以前，我做了一个抉择。现在，我走着那条路。今天我得知了另外一条路的成绩，我发现它也消失了。虽然很不快乐，但是想了想这未尝也不是件坏事。想一想自己当初的抉择，我为自己备了一条后路。而现在的我，正走着这条后备路。

这一次的旅程，非常的辛苦。甚至比那条消失的道路还辛苦得多。我不知道这次的旅程会为我带来什么样的挑战，什么样精彩的事情。我不知道我走上了这条后备路，开始了这一段旅程到最后会带领我到什么样的地方。我不知道未来我是否会创出一片属于自己的天空。我只是抱着一个信念：有失必有得。

我失去了另外一条简单，直通美好未来的旅程。但是我相信在这条坎坷，毫无预警的旅程里我会找回我在前者失去的一切，甚至还要多。。。。。。现在长着双手，站在明媚的阳光底下，我期待着在我前方的每一个明天会经历的美好、难过。。。。。。