女生的标准

哈咯～今天艾微想要来大势宣泄一番……为和我一样的女生打抱不平。
现今社会里，有两种女生。
一种就是大家心目中的女生：美丽、大方、高雅、穿裙子、蕾丝、细心、有甜甜的笑容、长头发、体贴、温柔、娇滴滴的……
而另一种女生就是像我一样的女生：普普通通、行为大剌剌、爱大笑、对衣着没有讲究、粗心大意、潇洒
你是哪一种呢？
大部分女生会说，我是第二种。可是你真的是第二种吗？我不化妆，如果没有必要一定不会画；我衣柜里的衣服只有三件裙子，其他的都是裤子；我上班的衣服就那几件；我讨厌死了手提袋，麻烦、小小个的都装不下什么东西；我讨厌死了高跟鞋，又不舒服、又不方便；我讨厌死了裙子，走路要斯斯文文的、又不能利落整理事情。

其实社会的标准就是觉得为什么你是女生，你不能像别人一样：斯文一点、文静一点。整天蹦蹦跳跳的、这里一个伤、那边一个伤是怎样。我男朋友、我朋友、我父母，没有一个觉得我这个个性是OK的。每个人都觉得你一个女生，怎么个男孩子一样。

像男孩子怎么了？为什么女孩子就要斯斯文文的？
由古至今，女生被灌输必须要相夫教子。可是各位，现在是21世纪了……难道男人就么有责任教育孩子吗？为什么男人总是要吧他们传统的思想管套在女人的身上？不，应该是说为什么不管男人女人都觉的女人应该怎样怎样怎样，不应该怎样怎样怎样？
当一个家庭有了小三的侵入，大家都只批评小三说她不检点、勾引男人。难道男人没有错吗？这些东西一个巴掌拍不响的。在指指点点的过程中，小三被人批、正是也被人批说一定是满足不了自己的老公所以老公才出去偷吃。那请要怎样才可以满足自己的老公？男人出去拈花惹草，为什么错的都是女人？

回到这个话题……
妈妈和男朋友都觉的，你不能画一点装吗？你不能小心一点、温柔一点、斯文一点吗？
为什么我要啊？这样的女生满街都是，去外面找就好了啊！
我一直以来就是自豪自己不一样。可是渐渐的发现自己好像真的糊涂了一点所以想改进一点。可是不管我怎样想改进，我就是改不了。我很累，我时常问自己为什么我的个性要这样？为什么别人不能接受我就是这样？

为什么每一个人都要我变成那一个不化妆不出门、穿着高跟鞋、穿着裙子、提着小包包优雅滴踩着脚步前进的女生？
为什么我不能就是哪一个套了个T恤、短裤、帆布鞋、有着钱包锁匙手机就出门的女生？
为什么那些女生才是女生？为什么要我变成和他们一样？
每个人口里说着：我不介意，我不是要你变成和他们一样。
其实要求的就是那一些我们永远都做不到、我们讨厌的事情。

我不是要你精心打扮，只是要你穿着得体。怎么样才是得体？我穿着衬衫，工作裤，平底鞋不得体了吗？
我不是要你天天化妆，只是偶尔画一些。什么是偶尔？上班吗？我一个星期上5天班，5天是偶尔吗？
我不是不让你洒脱，还是让你多照顾自己一些。我怎么不照顾自己了？我受伤了不都是自己擦药吗？我发烧了，不都是自己吃药、喝水自救吗？
我不是让你温柔，只是让你不要那么大剌剌的。不大剌剌不就是要我去care吗？
我不需要你和别的女生一样，做你自己就好了。那你就不要对说我不够细心、不够体贴、不能照顾自己、糊涂、忘东忘西、不自律的这些事情了嘛！

我觉得社会让我讨厌我自己，我越来越不知道自己去了哪里了。
我做自己错了吗……？

Ready, Set, GO~!

A very pleasant night to those who are reading or wanting to read my blog. As usual, I'm your Feelings FM DJ, Ivy. Tonight's song would be Stay by Rihanna:


It had not been quite my time recently. I have been wandering around the maze of life trying to get hold of something which I do not know what it is actually.








I took this picture last week when I was on my way back into my condo in KL

When I saw this light shining through the gaps between the pillars, I stood there and look at the sunlight. It was very dazzling but at that very moment, it was like something to me. Something which I've always been searching for.

Since I came to KL, things have not been getting on smoothly. First I was ditched by my only friend in KL for I don't know whatever reason; Then I end up being antisocial in class, staying up all alone. Next I slacked in my studies... So it goes on and on...

In fact, things had been really depressing lately when exams are coming in 57 days and my room mate can never stop annoying me.

Well, I should say from this I learnt some real and true friends. I had a talk with my mom and she gave me another option but I hesitated. It's not that I like KL, in fact I never liked KL... But my friends here, the lecturers here... Those are the reason which makes my want to stay.

I remember one of my friend saying, "Ivy, don't go la!"
I remember one of my course mate saying, "You wanna transfer a? Why?"
I remember one of my bro saying: "You sure ah?"
I remember one of them saying: "As long as the problem is solved, you don't have to move right?"

A few of them volunteered to look out for rooms for me. I even met someone who told me today, "If it's really annoying, you can come over my place to study. My room mate is off till end of this month for study break so no problem. Just give me a text any time."
To say the truth, I'm touched and happy and glad and contented that I meet them.

I was such an antisocial person until I came into this class and I started having more and more friends. Some are Hi Bye friends, some I never talk to, some are study mates but nevertheless every one of them treat me well. I never regretted meeting them. I never regretted open up my heart and feelings to them.

I'm really sorry for the stress I've been through. Breaking down is so NOT ME, but I did last week in class itself. Some of them saw it but they gave me some support and ya, it was really helpful.

Today's status on FB：
I thank all my friends and course mates (this is targeted to them but here I add on, my parents and family) who are concerned about what I'm going through. Thank you for giving me advice and finding an alternative way for me to study under these undesirable circumstances. And I thank HER sincerely for inviting me over to study when it's convenient. Thank you so much. I'll try my best for the exam. Let's fight.

I learnt something... I learnt that there are people who hates me and there are people who loves me for who I am. I do not have to waste time on those who hates me... All I need to do is to appreciate those who loves me, those who supported me, those who accept me for who I am and what I do. Even one day things might change, there is still a 'once upon a time' leaving in my memories within...

Now it's time to get ready for a total boost and rush for examinations. 57 days to go and counting. Let's get ready. Let's pass our exams and meet again next year. Let's finish the whole course and graduate together!

ON YOUR MARK, READY, SET.... GO!!!

PAINTBALL ON THE GO~!!

A very good evening to all of you who are reading my blog...

I'm your DJ for this evening, Ivy.

So, tonight's theme would be the very first step to my 'Let My Arenaline Rush' Plan.

OK, things start this way... 

2 weeks ago, I sort of went into a total stress and depression mode due to the upcoming exams which is in say... 65 days? *OMG, that is so close~ I'm gonna fail man...

BUt anyway, since it's nothing to do with those who are not sitting for the exam, there is no point stressing you guys out... So, me and my classmate were having this conversation in class one fine afternoon before class starts:

Me: "I feel like going for Bungee Jumping." 

Duncan: "Why do you wanna go BUngee Jumping?"

Me: "Too stress, just to release my stress. Wanna come? RM75 in SUnway Lagoon."

Duncan: "WHat?! You are using RM75 to buy gravity? One jump, 2 seconds, RM75?"

Me: "Ya?"

Duncan: "WHy not I buy you a rope and tie your leg and let you jump off from one of the condo in KL? It's free."

Me: "That's not the point."

Duncan: "Cummon! Do something else."

Me: "I really love all this games... I wanna go for BUngee Jumping, Go Carting, Abselin, Flying Fox, Paintball, Lazer Skirmish..."

Duncan: "You seriously wanna go for paintball?"

Another classmate who is sitting behind of us, Mark responded: "I heard paintball. Are we going for paintball?"

Duncan: "We can organize if you guys want."

And so.... This event starts...

So we basically gathered information about paintball fields and the charges... And Duncan set up an event group on Facebook recruiting members of our coursemates to join. Things goes well excepts with some glitch (Well, expected right?) but it turn out quite well and we'll officially starts our story here!

At first we  plan to meet at BAC (Brickfields Asia College, i.e: the college we're studying) and Duncan will pick me and another 2 people from there. I was late but anyway I reached and he called and said, "Hey, Ivy... THere's a block there. The police don't allow me to cross, can you come to BAC2?" 

So me, Prab and Jie Jiun walked to BAC2 and hop on... Anyway, we weren't really late when we reached the place... Walah, It's TAG Paintball at Taman Desa. THe exact location cannot be found on Google Map, so my advice, type this on your GPS if you were to go: Taman Desa Waterpark. It's the same way but it's a very old 4 stories parking beside the waterpark.

So basically when we reached there we started waiting up till 3.15 when we started briefing. They explained Capture the Flag MOde, Team Death and also Terminator(play till the pellets finish)

But in the end we only played the Team Death and Terminator

During the game, adrenaline rush to the very peak. THis is even so when you saw your opponent running around and you hear shooting all around. THe pain when you got shot is intense but it does not last for long. It might bruises you but at the very moment, you feel alive. After all the stress and hectic life in the city, this is one way that will really relaxes your mind. 

NO thought will go through the mind except to survive the game and to shoot down your opponent. 

At the very end, we still have some bullets left so we went on a 1 vs 1 game. This game pushes the thrill to the max. The first round was Duncan vs Prab... The second round was me vs Jian. 

THe sweat after the game really refreshes the mind, and the moment when I got shot at the neck but Keith really makes my blood burnt further. I want to feel the pain, I want to shoot and finish off the game... That is what I tell myself.

I did not get much bruises, only a couple of them... Here, one on my thigh (by I don't know who) and one on my shoulder (by Hui Fang):

After the game, we went for dinner at Seng Kee Restaurant. We had amazing conversations there. IN a way, this game really brought everyone who are usually antisocial to work together and to talk about things that we never talk in class.

From left: Me, Hui Fang, Aeshprit, Prab, Kavitha, Kristen, JJ, Mark, Nelia, Yau Lem, Jian, Keith.

Missing：Siah Fong

Anyway, if there's a chance... I would love to go for a second round. 

Our players. 

Second Row from left: Mark, Nelia, Prab, Jian, Keith (the extremely aggressive one), Aeshprit.

First Row from left: Siah Fong, Yau Lem, Me, Duncan, Kristen, JJ, Kavitha

Missing: Hui Fang.

Here are some info if you guys wanna feel the thrill and join the game. 

TAG Paintball website: http://www.paintball-tag.com/paintball-tag/paintball-tag/main/default.asp
TAG FB Group :https://www.facebook.com/groups/147069708416/

Needies:

1. Bottle of water. (You can still buy drinks after the game, we bought 100 Plus RM2.50 per can)

2. Tissue or handkerchief. (Trust me, you will sweat a lot)

3. Clean shirt (For changing after the game)

4. Clean pants (For changing after the game)

5. Towel and toiletries (If you plan to bath after the game)

The thing about TAG paintball is, the people there are pretty good... Friendly Marshalls there, and the toilets are very big and clean. You would feel comfortable with the equipments provided too as they are clean and you do not feel disgusted. 

They will provide you with the mask and the marker, i.e: the gun. Others will be on your own cost.

There are 14 of us, we paid approximately RM100 for the playfield, the equipments and 2 boxes of pellets. If you want to rent the vest, it cost RM10 extra. But it would be advisable for first time players as it is quite painful.

So that's all for today. Feel free to drop any question about this and I'll try to help.

Rating for today's activity:

Adrenaline Rush   :  ☆☆★★★

Thrill                    :  ☆★★★★

Overall                 :  ☆☆★★★ (3.5 actually, but my soft Keyboard doesn't have the half star symbol)