Just to talk crap

Thank you for tuning in to Feelings FM and I'm always the DJ, Ivy... Woohoo!
Well, today I decided to renew my blog post after being redundant for nearly three months (or more)...
The thing is, there are a few reasons why I did not renew the blog.
I know you are not interested to know why but I'm still gonna say it for the sake of saying it... Blek!

1. I was quite busy for the past few months
A few months ago, stress and pressure started to build... Why? It's exam period, duh. Student gets stress up for exams, especially us... Law students. There is like thousand of things to read and stuff into that tiny little brain of ours but the time is running out and our hard disk space is also running out.
So I did not have time to sit down and finish writing a blog post. When I meant finish, it means I attempted to write one but did not succeed at doing it. I just ditched all the post and trust me, all of them are still saved in as my draft post. LOLX

2. I'm just lazy.
Yes, you heard me right. I'm way too lazy to renew my blog. Partially due to exam stress, my brain wasn't really functioning for the past few months. Partially also because there is no inspiration to write about anything. I can blabber about my boring life but who would wanna see it? (Although it's not like anyone will read my blog when I'm not talking about my boring life)
Thus, I gave myself a three months break and get myself out of my blog. I rather sleep than think of what to write. So forgive me...

3. My life got boring.
Ah ha... OK, not actually THAT boring. See, I have been eating out quite often and I started to get addicted with Instagram. By the way, here is my Insta account, make sure you follow me: http://instagram.com/jzivy93
And spoiler alert: If you click in, you will see food and food and food. And yes, when exam periods creep in... All I do was Eat and Eat and Eat... So just enjoy looking at the food from my Insta and hey, stop drooling... Get a napkin or something, your table is all wet.

I think that's all... As to why at this hour of the day, I decided to resurrect my blog once again... There is only one reason:
I'm not going to have internet access for the coming two weeks...
And yes, I mean it. I'm going to be working at the top of some hills or mountains or whatsoever they call it (one of the reason I did not do well for my Geography). There, the telecommunication line sucks and they do not have Wi-Fi in the hostels. So I will not be able to get access to the internet for TWO WEEKS! Oh, even if you call me, you won't be able to hear me clearly due to the telecommunication problem. And ya, that is why I decided to just renew the blog to update on my latest status and...

Oh course, JUST TO TALK CRAP!!!

Anyway, Good night people. Since my holiday started, Happy Holiday to those who are also having their summer holidays. And to those who do not have one, happy studying and remember to tune in to my blog once in a while(to save your time, do not have to do so in the next two weeks).

不哭

其实今天选这首歌没有任何意义，纯粹只是因为它的名字——《相信》
最近我又开始犯了老毛病，我开始过度敏感……
我开始怀疑、开始害怕、开始不快乐。
我开始怀疑身边的朋友是不是不喜欢我，
我开始怀疑自己其实不过是他们可以利用的工具。
有事的时候就往我这里奔，每事的时候就当着没有看到我。
我最近还感觉自己渐渐失去了一个好朋友……
是我自己多疑了吗？
是，我不快乐。我想哭……但是我告诉自己，无论如何都不可以哭。
不可以脆弱，不可以倒下。
我感觉到非常不安……
可是又可以怎样呢？
自己本身就很多缺点，也不是每一个人都可以接受。
乖，不哭……一切会过去的，我告诉自己……
我害怕相信，因为我害怕被背叛……
但是我只能相信吗？
谁可以告诉我，我其实是可以相信他的……

Dropping By...

Well, I haven't been up here for quite some time now... Yikes, when was the last time again? Oh, 3 months ago... Great.

I'm you Feelings FM DJ, Ivy. Good evening and did you guys have a pleasant day? Oh, I didn't.
Let's see, 3 months, 3 months. So much to catch up, huh?
Nothing much happens actually, living life as usual. But it's getting busier, exam's approaching and ya know, law is a tough subject.

Hmm, well let's stop all the blabbering and the song I present to you tonight is Everybody Got SOmebody But Me by Hunter Hayes(ft Jason Mraz).

And the next version is a cover by Sam Tsui. Personally, I prefer Sam Tsui's version but the thing is... It's too sad. Need the ori to lighten up the mood a little.

I have been quite lazy to update my blog, putting it on hold for quite some time now. SOmehow I just decided to drop by today and just post something about how I feel recently and how my life have been.


Well, I moved to a new place in October and things has been quite messed up. No Wi-Fi makes life difficult, like EXTREMELY difficult. Don't they know that Wi-fi has been listed as one of the HUman rights now? Jeez. They needa do something bout it, man. Or else, I'm gonna bored to dead.

Anyway, after I came back to KL I 'm so busy with all my assignments and studies and catching up that I don't even have time to catch a breath. Need some Kit-Kat... But NO, no time for all the nonsense. Striking a balance between fun and studies is really hard. Making some time for my upcoming novel is even harder. Blogging... I ain't have time for that no more. Sounds pathetic right? Nah... I'm just lazy.

So, I'm changing for good. And duh~! I'm determined this time. Needa start moving my butts and don't just sit in front of the laptop and staring at the desktop all day. At least I need to do some novel writing or blogging. Hmm... Oh, and food.

I'm learning ukulele lately and needa slot time for that now. Jeez, if only I have 36 hours a day. Well, you know my way: Fun, Food, Adventures! What's life without all these and study all day? I've been quite hyper lately and can't really think straight and start getting sentimental and emotional like before, maybe when stress mode is on in say 1 month time? You'll see the depressed me again, I bet.

Good night for now and have a nice day tomorrow, rain or shine.
And for Malaysians, Happy Thaipusam this upcoming Friday.

I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. 
I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.

--------- Audrey Hepburn

只有自己可以给于自己的正能量

哈咯！大家好，我是你们心情DJ——艾微。
看会最后一片部落格文章才发现自己好久、好久、好久没有更新了……
哈哈！前一阵子忙于考试都没有时间上网，现在考完试了所以来更更呗！

最近我爱上了一首歌曲：David Guetta ft. Sia 的 Titanium。
这一首歌可以说是我的正能量的来源……为什么？看看它的歌词吧！什么是Titanium？就是华语所谓的“钛”。
这一首歌的歌词很贴近我们现实社会的情形，就像是说一个人对于别人的闲言闲语、讽刺嘲笑都免疫了……
俗话说：“人言可畏。”、“一传十，十传百，百传千，千传万。”但是也有人说：“嘴巴是生在别人身上，你管他说什么？”

我们的身边总是会有那么一些人，从来不会给与正面的影响。相反的，他们却想要看见你堕落而不断给你负面的影响。他们会故意讽刺你、刺伤你，而我们身为受害者当然大多时候就会被刺痛、被伤害。
这一首歌就把这一些负面的对话当成是子弹，而受害者是一个非常坚强的人……即使再多的讽刺和闲言闲语，他都不会动摇……那一些子弹射在他身上就会反弹……这就像是一个宣战：来吧！你们尽管说，你们那一些要伤害我的人都发射你们的子弹吧！而我绝对不会受伤害……

其实很多时候，我们会为了那一些事情而伤心、烦恼……但是这一些心情唯独自己超越了自己才可以渐渐免疫……
我们必须找到自己的正能量，因为那一些正能量只有自己才可以给自己的……
我总是忍着不说，忍着不哭因为那一些根本没有办法解决问题。但是我的缺点就是到一定的时候，我会爆发……以前的我爆发的时候会听一些伤心的歌曲，让自己更难过地哭个痛快……但是现在，我不想哭了……哭，是个懦弱的表现……我爆发的时候，就听这一首歌……听听歌词……
这就是我。这是只有我自己可以给于自己的正能量……

最后，附上这首歌的歌词：
Titanium- David Guetta ft. Sia

You shout it loud, but I can't hear a word you say,
I'm talking loud, not saying much.
I'm criticized, but all your bullet ricochet,
You shoot me down, but I get up.

*I'm bullet proof, nothing to lose,
fire away, fire away,
Ricochet, you take your aim,
Fire away, fire away.

@You shoot me down but I won't fall,
I am titanium.
Shoot me down but I won't fall,
I am titanium.

Cut me down, but it's you who'll have further to fall
Ghost town and haunted love
Raise your voice, stick and stones may break my bones,
I'm talking loud, not saying much

Repeat *@

Stone hard, machine gun,
Fired at the ones who's run,
Stone hard, as bulletproof glass

Sometimes that one person is more than enough...

Good evening, and I'm you Feelings FM DJ... As usual, Ivy.

The song of the day would be... Here, I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables, violin cover by Jun Sung Ahn. I hope you like it... It is a beautifully played song...

Today's theme as stated above and I know not much people are interested when they see my title since it's not like the others post... FOOD~ OKOK, chill.. Wait till I find something special then I'll do some food review again... I can't be posting MCD food review right? Haha.

Anyway, some thoughts have been bugging me these few days. Guess is the weather? Or maybe the stress coming up for exams? Or maybe I'm thinking too much? Well, I really do not know which is which really... I've been feeling quite EMO for the past two weeks and I still cannot get over it. I wonder why but I think I know the reason... I'm too dependent on others...

I saw a post from my friend's blog: Moi et N'importe Quo... Although the title is in French, but trust me... The content is mostly in English. Well, basically I saw this post and I smiled... Because at least there is someone I know who are not really close with me knows me better than my good friends do. I'm not trying to compare here but yeah... He still understands it albeit not much who I really am. 

Things have been quite bad for me these few weeks. Due to stress in examination and my own thinking, I get all the mood sways out of nowhere. This moment I can be super active, next moment my feeling was like sliding down the cliff. I do not know who I really am in my surroundings now as I don't seem to fit in after... well, almost one and a half years. Loneliness is always there and I shouldn't be showing and telling it to anyone but myself. 

Sometimes, we just need someone to talk to but it's just that no one is there. I just look up and saw that my friends are all ahead of me and I'm still taking my slow step behind. People think differently and people judge others differently. I'm not really the welcomed type of person and usually, people would just hate me from the very first moment they saw me. I just portray myself as being arrogant, maybe? 

Today, I posted a status on FB: "Sometimes loneliness makes you realize who you really are and what your surrounding look like... and then makes you feel that you rather be lonely..."

That's what came across my mind at that very moment. I'm afraid of a lot of things and I'm actually a big coward. I like extreme sports because that's the only way I can get hurt and reminds me that I'm actually still alive with all the things around me and to be contented of everything. I'm scared but I cannot find another way to push away the fright I have in me... 

I do not expect anyone to understand what I'm going through for two reasons:

1. Every individuals have their own thinking and no one would understand what others are going through.

2. Me, myself do not know what and why I'm having all the emo moments and loneliness and sadness.

No one understands and no one will... Sometimes I just feel sad for no reason or maybe there is a reason and I do not know why. 

And so, this should end because everyone would get bored and think that I'm a paranoid or so. The one thing that I always tell myself is no one will pity you and no one will be there when problem arises. The most trustworthy person is you and yourself. But sometimes that one person who understands would be more than enough and I'm glad that he described it well... Yes, I am active and lively from the outside but at the inside I'm a sentimental person... 

Well, life's never easy... Tomorrow is a new day and it means a new start. Neh?

迷失自己

[图片摘至：http://www.e7max.com/]

很多人，

把爱情形容为一个迷宫。

因为你不知道他的出路，

你不知道接下来会遇上瓶颈，

还是到达出口。

试问，

何止爱情是如此呢？

在人生的道路里，

友情不也这样吗？

在这黑暗的夜里，

我看着一个说着谎话的朋友，

她可以说背叛了我对他的信任。

也许是自己的错，

是我太好骗了。。。

在这个人生的迷宫里，

有时候，

我因为太过于相信别人，

而。。。

迷失了自己。。。

为生命祈祷

[图片摘至：nipic.com]

2011年，

并不是一个美好的开始。

今年，

大家即将历经的，

是前所未有的生活。

2011年的天气起了巨大的变化。

从一月至今，

马来西亚每天都在下雨。

虽然很凉，

但是我们是不是应该想想这真的是好事吗？

2011年1月14日，

澳洲Tasmania，

连续几日的大雨，

赵成了严重的水灾。

在2011年3月11日，

日本遭受9.0级数的地震和海啸袭击，

之后在前几天，

日本核子能发电厂引爆。

日本现在的辐射等同于我们照了8000次的X光。

这个世界，

已经不再是当初人类占领的世界了。

我们的自然界，

在向我们报复，

它准备向我们讨回属于它们的一切。

朋友们，

反省吧！

有能力者，为这个世界出一分力。

没有能力者，

让我们来为这个世界，

让我们来为那无数的生命，

让我们为我们身边的朋友、家人，

献上最虔诚的祈祷。

祈祷接下来的日子，

不再如此吓人，

每天在恐慌下度过......

祈祷明天会更好......